How awful, I am sorry that you didn't have all the information up front. There is so much pain, and even un-warranted shame, resulting from miscarriages that very few people talk openly about them and others don't really know the reality until they or someone close to them is in that situation. Of course I do not blame any individuals for keeping their grief private, that is a very personal choice, I just think that what you are doing here, talking openly and honestly about your experience, is a community service in itself. I admire your courage.