Someone trying to get fit or healthy fails, and there are a multitude of people helping them come up with the excuses. Not only that, but a lot of the attitude is "Well you've failed now, so there's no point to starting again, is there?"
You've been speaking to my mother, haven't you?
I think the hardest bit of dieting is support, or lack of. I dieted before my wedding, while I still lived with my parents and in the first couple of months my mother was enthusiastic. She was the one who made the food choices, cooked etc in my house and started off doing healthy stuff, and would exercise with me - until it got 'too hard'. Not surprisingly, my progress after that point went downhill. Then there was Dad getting offended if I didn't want Coke or ice cream. Apparently I was some freak.
It's really hard doing it by yourself.
There are the places that promise 'support' if you join their program, but they're expensive (especially when one is in the process of selling their soul to a government-run fiance organisation ;p)
Sometimes I wish people would stop saying 'you're fine the way you are!' because I'm not. It's not fine that I have a ridiculous time find decent clothes that fit. It's not fine that I have to either spend obscene amounts of money for something that costs a third cheaper on someone 4 sizes smaller or order them in from the freaking USA. It's not fine being uncomfortable in theater seats or having to get the belt extender on the plane. It's not fine going to a doctor - for a completely unrelated thing - and get told I'm a perfect candidate for stomach banding. It's not fine going to the clothes swap at Swancon and there being *nothing* I fit in AND end up missing Kaneda proposing to Ju because I'm back in my room in tears. It's not fine that Drhoz couldn't carry me over the threshold when we got married because he would have hurt his back doing so. It's not fine that I've gained nearly 40 kilos since I met Drhoz. It's not fine that the more one puts on, the more asexual one is seen - ESPECIALLY by an awful lot of the guys I know in fandom (There's been studies that have shown overweight women have higher libidos... but from my observations, it seems the larger you get, the less sex you get too, regardless of your partner situation.) It's not fine that if I'm on the bus, I'm usually one of the last people people will sit next to. It's not fine that I've lost out on parts in plays, or the better roles, because god forbid we should have a fat lead (unless it's the comic role, then its perfectly ok because we all know fat people are jolly *sarcasm*). It's not fine that I'm automatically seen as out of control because obviously if I can't control my weight, I can't control anything else in my life.
I hate being this fat. Not that I want to be 'skinny'. Ha. When I did Weight Watchers when I got told my target weight (which would have gotten me down to half the weight I was then) it was all I could do from not laugh in the leader's face. I think this is similar to the Christina Ricci situation - some people just look horrible at their so-called 'target weight' (the WW leader for instance would have looked a lot healthier with a little extra weight), and I like being voluptuous, but what I'm now isn't voluptuous. I know I will have people argue this, but all bar one of them haven't seen me without clothes on and I am no way voluptuous. (it's amazing what a good bra and a flattering skirt can do).
I don't really feel that sexy anymore. I don't feel attractive. I wonder how much that is to do with being in a relationship - there have been studies that marriage makes you fat (or being in a long term relationship for that matter) partly because you're no longer on the pull and, especially with women, you try to fit in more with your partner's habits. A lot of women I've met fail at diets because their husbands revolt when having to change his meals or insisting she cook two separate meals. It's easier to give in. I keep telling myself 'yeah, I should start exercising more' and when it comes to the crunch the enormousity makes me curl up in a metaphorical ball of fear. It's like being in a big pit and the top is too high to reach by myself, so why bother? I hate this feeling.
no subject
You've been speaking to my mother, haven't you?
I think the hardest bit of dieting is support, or lack of. I dieted before my wedding, while I still lived with my parents and in the first couple of months my mother was enthusiastic. She was the one who made the food choices, cooked etc in my house and started off doing healthy stuff, and would exercise with me - until it got 'too hard'. Not surprisingly, my progress after that point went downhill. Then there was Dad getting offended if I didn't want Coke or ice cream. Apparently I was some freak.
It's really hard doing it by yourself.
There are the places that promise 'support' if you join their program, but they're expensive (especially when one is in the process of selling their soul to a government-run fiance organisation ;p)
Sometimes I wish people would stop saying 'you're fine the way you are!' because I'm not. It's not fine that I have a ridiculous time find decent clothes that fit. It's not fine that I have to either spend obscene amounts of money for something that costs a third cheaper on someone 4 sizes smaller or order them in from the freaking USA. It's not fine being uncomfortable in theater seats or having to get the belt extender on the plane. It's not fine going to a doctor - for a completely unrelated thing - and get told I'm a perfect candidate for stomach banding. It's not fine going to the clothes swap at Swancon and there being *nothing* I fit in AND end up missing Kaneda proposing to Ju because I'm back in my room in tears. It's not fine that Drhoz couldn't carry me over the threshold when we got married because he would have hurt his back doing so. It's not fine that I've gained nearly 40 kilos since I met Drhoz. It's not fine that the more one puts on, the more asexual one is seen - ESPECIALLY by an awful lot of the guys I know in fandom (There's been studies that have shown overweight women have higher libidos... but from my observations, it seems the larger you get, the less sex you get too, regardless of your partner situation.) It's not fine that if I'm on the bus, I'm usually one of the last people people will sit next to. It's not fine that I've lost out on parts in plays, or the better roles, because god forbid we should have a fat lead (unless it's the comic role, then its perfectly ok because we all know fat people are jolly *sarcasm*). It's not fine that I'm automatically seen as out of control because obviously if I can't control my weight, I can't control anything else in my life.
I hate being this fat. Not that I want to be 'skinny'. Ha. When I did Weight Watchers when I got told my target weight (which would have gotten me down to half the weight I was then) it was all I could do from not laugh in the leader's face. I think this is similar to the Christina Ricci situation - some people just look horrible at their so-called 'target weight' (the WW leader for instance would have looked a lot healthier with a little extra weight), and I like being voluptuous, but what I'm now isn't voluptuous. I know I will have people argue this, but all bar one of them haven't seen me without clothes on and I am no way voluptuous. (it's amazing what a good bra and a flattering skirt can do).
I don't really feel that sexy anymore. I don't feel attractive. I wonder how much that is to do with being in a relationship - there have been studies that marriage makes you fat (or being in a long term relationship for that matter) partly because you're no longer on the pull and, especially with women, you try to fit in more with your partner's habits. A lot of women I've met fail at diets because their husbands revolt when having to change his meals or insisting she cook two separate meals. It's easier to give in.
I keep telling myself 'yeah, I should start exercising more' and when it comes to the crunch the enormousity makes me curl up in a metaphorical ball of fear. It's like being in a big pit and the top is too high to reach by myself, so why bother? I hate this feeling.