Purrdence's post brings up an interesting point I think you miss. On the one hand, yes, I think there is a lot of support in fandom for not caring about your weight, and yes that can lead to some very physically unhealthy fans. But on the other hand, I think there's a prevalence in fandom for people with low self-esteem - as you said, we're the bunch who got picked on at school - and I imagine having the support of other fans regardless of your appearance can (potentially) improve your mental health.
Not that I can talk about losing weight (I've been lucky that way), but I have certainly been in the position of wanting to change other things that I hated about myself. What that taught me was that hating those parts of myself just made it harder to change them: the self-hating made me miserable but the misery gave me no particular impetus (or practical assistance) to change. I may be reading too much into things, but that's the vibe I got from the end of Purr's post, too.
So I just kept on doing the things I hated, and kept on being miserable about doing them. What I finally learned (with the help of one truly amazing teacher) is that, contradictory as it sounds (and I'm sorry if I can't explain it very well), but the less you worry about the "bad" aspects of yourself, the easier it is to change them. Because the more you love yourself, the easier it is to stop worrying about your "problems" and start looking for solutions. And having people around you who love you as you are can be a big part of learning to love yourself.
I know that what you're talking about crosses the line from support into "dragging down" - not just "we love you as you are" but "we love you as you are, how dare you want to change?". But I thought it was worth mentioning. There are degrees.
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Funnily enough, I found this little gem just yesterday.
Purrdence's post brings up an interesting point I think you miss. On the one hand, yes, I think there is a lot of support in fandom for not caring about your weight, and yes that can lead to some very physically unhealthy fans. But on the other hand, I think there's a prevalence in fandom for people with low self-esteem - as you said, we're the bunch who got picked on at school - and I imagine having the support of other fans regardless of your appearance can (potentially) improve your mental health.
Not that I can talk about losing weight (I've been lucky that way), but I have certainly been in the position of wanting to change other things that I hated about myself. What that taught me was that hating those parts of myself just made it harder to change them: the self-hating made me miserable but the misery gave me no particular impetus (or practical assistance) to change. I may be reading too much into things, but that's the vibe I got from the end of Purr's post, too.
So I just kept on doing the things I hated, and kept on being miserable about doing them. What I finally learned (with the help of one truly amazing teacher) is that, contradictory as it sounds (and I'm sorry if I can't explain it very well), but the less you worry about the "bad" aspects of yourself, the easier it is to change them. Because the more you love yourself, the easier it is to stop worrying about your "problems" and start looking for solutions. And having people around you who love you as you are can be a big part of learning to love yourself.
I know that what you're talking about crosses the line from support into "dragging down" - not just "we love you as you are" but "we love you as you are, how dare you want to change?". But I thought it was worth mentioning. There are degrees.