There are two problems with 'moral' people, and I think you've put your finger on both. The first is that true morality has to admit some uncertainty. Has to admit that humans are fallible, and so its possible they are wrong about at least some things, probably many. Which means tolerance for difference of opinion about some moral issues is a foundation of real morality. The second is that not only do two wrongs not make a right, judgements without action don't add up to much either. If you aren't prepared to do something about it, you're part of the problem.
I think there is an interesting point about what you said about peoples judgment of your relationship. A lot of comes down to being willing to underestimate people (in terms of moral worth, in terms of insight, in terms of say within a relationship) before even investigating.
I've actually heard, sad to say, worse stories about the moral judgments within fandom, though the ones that really bother me are from longer ago.
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The first is that true morality has to admit some uncertainty. Has to admit that humans are fallible, and so its possible they are wrong about at least some things, probably many. Which means tolerance for difference of opinion about some moral issues is a foundation of real morality.
The second is that not only do two wrongs not make a right, judgements without action don't add up to much either. If you aren't prepared to do something about it, you're part of the problem.
I think there is an interesting point about what you said about peoples judgment of your relationship. A lot of comes down to being willing to underestimate people (in terms of moral worth, in terms of insight, in terms of say within a relationship) before even investigating.
I've actually heard, sad to say, worse stories about the moral judgments within fandom, though the ones that really bother me are from longer ago.