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A rant on housemates
Tiki has been a great housemate. In fact, all the housemates Sharon and I have ended up with while living here have been good people. But there's one thing that makes Tiki stand out above all others...
She's leaving.
More specifically, she's leaving within the time period that we all talked about.
On previous occasions, when we've known someone who needed a roof over their heads, we've been happy to help out. But we've also been very specific - 'You can stay with us for x months, but we'd really like you out by then.'
Unfortunately, on those other occasions, something seems to have been lost in the translation. They could stay with us so they had a breather, had time to organise or re-organise their lives, and then they were expected to move out by the rough date we specified. We wouldn't have been bastards about it, if someone was looking but obviously having trouble, another few weeks is not an issue.
Or if they'd asked if they could stay on for an extra month or so, again, if there was a decent reason, not a problem.
But it's like inertia sets in and they forget that we're already doing them a favour. They aren't helping us by staying, because Sharon and I like our alone time. It doesn't matter if we're charging board or not, we'd rather have the time alone together than the money.
My favourite was the person who, when the time came to move out, said he didn't have the money and would need time to save. He was earning as much as, if not more than, Sharon. Sharon's wage was paying our food and utility bills, not to mention the mortgage. He was paying us $50 a week. That was it. We set the board low so that he could save. He hung around and hung around and it got to the point where Shaz and I literally went out looking at houses for him, knowing what things he was looking for, came home and gave him the list.
It still took well over two months, and me moving to my mother's, before he got off his arse and got out. I had hit breaking point over his latest excuse, relayed to me through Sharon, and realised I was waiting for him to come home so I could physically attack him. I was ready to punch the snot out of him. I realised where my mood was at and so rather than indulge the more... direct... aspect of my nature, I chose to remove myself from the scene before I did something that I'd end up eventually feeling guilty over.
He came home, Sharon told him that I had moved out until he was gone, and he had a place by the next evening. And I didn't have to punch anybody. But it should never have gotten to that point.
See, this is what I don't get. Someone does you a favour, they give you a place to stay and all they want is for you to be out within a certain time period, in his case it was six months. If it were me, I'd be trying to repay my hosts by getting out reasonably promptly. I may take advantage of the timeframe to save up (which was one of the reasons for six months), but at the four month mark I'd start looking for a place like mad. I'd make it clear that I was actively looking so my hosts knew there was an end in sight, and if by some weird set of circumstances I found I was unable to find a place to rent in my price range, I would talk to other friends and at least attempt to find another place to stay.
And I wouldn't keep blowing my available funds on movies, DVD's, take-away food and computer equipment. I have an obligation to save so that I can get out. That doesn't mean going without things I like, but it does mean spending responsibly.
As you can see, this has been bottled up for some time :)
I don't bear any ill will to the other folks, except from the point of view that a rough date was suggested and they overstayed the date with seemingly no thought for how their overstaying may affect us.
Tiki was fantastic. She moved over and settled in, then started looking for work. Initially she took it slowly, but the longer she stayed with us, the harder she looked for work. We all get on pretty well and enjoyed living together, but she had originally said she'd probably be out by August and that was what she aimed towards. She found work first, then found a housemate and here we are at the start of August and most of her stuff is over at the new house.
The point is, even if she had taken longer, we could see that she was actively doing her best to get her shit together and get out. And that would have given us some sense that there is an end point.
And as much as we like Tiki and like sharing with her and doing stuff with her, it will be nice to have few weeks to ourselves before we move in to look after my mum - because after that, we aren't likely to have any time to ourselves.
Cheers,
Danny
She's leaving.
More specifically, she's leaving within the time period that we all talked about.
On previous occasions, when we've known someone who needed a roof over their heads, we've been happy to help out. But we've also been very specific - 'You can stay with us for x months, but we'd really like you out by then.'
Unfortunately, on those other occasions, something seems to have been lost in the translation. They could stay with us so they had a breather, had time to organise or re-organise their lives, and then they were expected to move out by the rough date we specified. We wouldn't have been bastards about it, if someone was looking but obviously having trouble, another few weeks is not an issue.
Or if they'd asked if they could stay on for an extra month or so, again, if there was a decent reason, not a problem.
But it's like inertia sets in and they forget that we're already doing them a favour. They aren't helping us by staying, because Sharon and I like our alone time. It doesn't matter if we're charging board or not, we'd rather have the time alone together than the money.
My favourite was the person who, when the time came to move out, said he didn't have the money and would need time to save. He was earning as much as, if not more than, Sharon. Sharon's wage was paying our food and utility bills, not to mention the mortgage. He was paying us $50 a week. That was it. We set the board low so that he could save. He hung around and hung around and it got to the point where Shaz and I literally went out looking at houses for him, knowing what things he was looking for, came home and gave him the list.
It still took well over two months, and me moving to my mother's, before he got off his arse and got out. I had hit breaking point over his latest excuse, relayed to me through Sharon, and realised I was waiting for him to come home so I could physically attack him. I was ready to punch the snot out of him. I realised where my mood was at and so rather than indulge the more... direct... aspect of my nature, I chose to remove myself from the scene before I did something that I'd end up eventually feeling guilty over.
He came home, Sharon told him that I had moved out until he was gone, and he had a place by the next evening. And I didn't have to punch anybody. But it should never have gotten to that point.
See, this is what I don't get. Someone does you a favour, they give you a place to stay and all they want is for you to be out within a certain time period, in his case it was six months. If it were me, I'd be trying to repay my hosts by getting out reasonably promptly. I may take advantage of the timeframe to save up (which was one of the reasons for six months), but at the four month mark I'd start looking for a place like mad. I'd make it clear that I was actively looking so my hosts knew there was an end in sight, and if by some weird set of circumstances I found I was unable to find a place to rent in my price range, I would talk to other friends and at least attempt to find another place to stay.
And I wouldn't keep blowing my available funds on movies, DVD's, take-away food and computer equipment. I have an obligation to save so that I can get out. That doesn't mean going without things I like, but it does mean spending responsibly.
As you can see, this has been bottled up for some time :)
I don't bear any ill will to the other folks, except from the point of view that a rough date was suggested and they overstayed the date with seemingly no thought for how their overstaying may affect us.
Tiki was fantastic. She moved over and settled in, then started looking for work. Initially she took it slowly, but the longer she stayed with us, the harder she looked for work. We all get on pretty well and enjoyed living together, but she had originally said she'd probably be out by August and that was what she aimed towards. She found work first, then found a housemate and here we are at the start of August and most of her stuff is over at the new house.
The point is, even if she had taken longer, we could see that she was actively doing her best to get her shit together and get out. And that would have given us some sense that there is an end point.
And as much as we like Tiki and like sharing with her and doing stuff with her, it will be nice to have few weeks to ourselves before we move in to look after my mum - because after that, we aren't likely to have any time to ourselves.
Cheers,
Danny
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