The shared history of being social outcasts *is* very important... up to a point. Consider the contrast for a new person perhaps still in the outcast phase, faced with a very coherent and tightly bonded group like the over 30s. I'd certainly run screaming.

Softly softly I say. Appeal to curiosity and intelligence, not family feeling. Remember the fear, angst, uncertainty, youth, desire, repulsion.

Wow, I sure am talking out of my arse today.