Things New Parents Should Know # 9 - Bandsaw

[dalekboy]

Take a bandsaw and put it in your bedroom. Set it up so it will run all on it's own from late afternoon and on through the night. It should activate at random points anywhere between one and four hours apart throughout the night, for not less than two minutes at a time. Average length of a run should be around fifteen minutes. Maximum time an hour or so.

When it's running, every second or so it will be randomly fed wood, with occasional bits of stone and metal for variety of sound.

It should be built so it has a sweet face, scrunched up in heart-breaking discomfort that you can do nothing about. Cuddling it may help it finish a run sooner, but may not.

This is your baby with colic.

Comments

[kaelajael.livejournal.com]

While my children never had a bad dose of colic, there were a number of things I did learn to stay clear of as it would give them a touch of colic...dairy as a whole was okay, but there were a number of dairy foods that were problematic. I know chocolate was one of them. And onions. And garlic.