Have you seen any pictures of elves? Yes there are the namby-pamby elves like they have in bloody Lord of the Rings, but I'm talking about proper elves. You know, elves that bloody work for a living, mate! Instead of sitting around on their perfect backsides all day looking in the mirror. Bloody elves... Grrr...

I think I may have to volunteer you to be an elf for North Pole Tonight...