Okay, I want to remind you I made a point of warning you away from this post because of triggering comments, you've come and read them anyway. It wasn't some smarmy little trap to draw you in. I know you read my LJ, I figured you'd look at the comments on this one, I tried to avoid you doing that. Was it a mistake for me to warn you and expect you to listen? Possibly. But I tried to do the right thing. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.
Next let me point out that at the beginning of the post I made it clear this wasn't about any one person. This post has been brewing for a hell of a long time in various forms, since well before what happened to you. It's only due to a discussion over the last weekend that I had the words to sum it up.
I could have waited until the current furore about your situation had died down, but then, there's always another situation that people will find links to with a post like this. And I suspect with your situation I could have posted this in two years and people would still bring up what happened to you.
Thinking of some of the people that this is about - - The person who organised an event, made some mistakes that inconvenienced a lot of people, and folks are still labelling him as unreliable over a decade later. - The person done for a single count of theft several years ago, and I still hear people telling newcomers, 'Don't trust such-and-such, they're a thief.' - The person who told some lies that got out of control a few years back, who has since more than shown a new leaf, still branded a liar. - And God knows how many Swancons, Natcons, etc. where I've heard such-and-such ran a bad one, never let them near a committee again.
That's just the start. I still hear about these people and more, months and years later.
Apart from when others specifically referenced your attacker in comments and I replied, when did I bring him up in this post, let alone say he made a mistake? In fact I specifically stated he chose to do the wrong thing.
In the comment you replied to I state that if someone can understand their actions are wrong, then they are guilty, and should pay the price. Do I say Matthew Johns made a mistake? No, I state that we should lock him up. Do I say we should let your assaulter off? No, I say that he can come back when his victim says it's okay - fully expecting that to be never.
Your pain is yours and it's real. And I'm sorry that you read this post as being about you, reigniting that pain. But it never was never about you, it was about the kneejerk herd mentality that thrives on hatred and blame, not justice.
no subject
Next let me point out that at the beginning of the post I made it clear this wasn't about any one person. This post has been brewing for a hell of a long time in various forms, since well before what happened to you. It's only due to a discussion over the last weekend that I had the words to sum it up.
I could have waited until the current furore about your situation had died down, but then, there's always another situation that people will find links to with a post like this. And I suspect with your situation I could have posted this in two years and people would still bring up what happened to you.
Thinking of some of the people that this is about -
- The person who organised an event, made some mistakes that inconvenienced a lot of people, and folks are still labelling him as unreliable over a decade later.
- The person done for a single count of theft several years ago, and I still hear people telling newcomers, 'Don't trust such-and-such, they're a thief.'
- The person who told some lies that got out of control a few years back, who has since more than shown a new leaf, still branded a liar.
- And God knows how many Swancons, Natcons, etc. where I've heard such-and-such ran a bad one, never let them near a committee again.
That's just the start. I still hear about these people and more, months and years later.
Apart from when others specifically referenced your attacker in comments and I replied, when did I bring him up in this post, let alone say he made a mistake? In fact I specifically stated he chose to do the wrong thing.
In the comment you replied to I state that if someone can understand their actions are wrong, then they are guilty, and should pay the price. Do I say Matthew Johns made a mistake? No, I state that we should lock him up. Do I say we should let your assaulter off? No, I say that he can come back when his victim says it's okay - fully expecting that to be never.
Your pain is yours and it's real. And I'm sorry that you read this post as being about you, reigniting that pain. But it never was never about you, it was about the kneejerk herd mentality that thrives on hatred and blame, not justice.