"Let me clarify, then - my issue is what Danny said, when he said it, and the context in which he started this "discussion".
How about we keep it to that?"
Okay, we can do that.
Firstly, since Danny himself is a past victim of sexual assault I think he's more than welcome to speak up about the subject whenever he feels like it, directly or indirectly. If he disagrees with the the majority in some way I think it's even more crucial that he speaks up. The fact that a victim is speaking on behalf of offenders should give everyone pause for thought.
Secondly, I think it's hypocritical of you to post your own "No one's saying anything about this horrible situation so I'm gonna say what I think needs to be said" post and then tear down Danny for making this post which was done with a similar motivation. It's doubly hypocritical for you to make an appeal to the Principle of Charity and then come in here and scream at Danny for what you assume he was implying rather than what he actually said. That's why I felt I had to comment.
"You've told the members of a community that got up and said "this is wrong, and the man that did it isn't welcome in our space any more" that they shouldn't have done it."
Look, I get that Danny's post caused that reaction in you, but I honestly don't think that he was saying anything like that at all. In fact he's said the exact opposite in several places. He's not asking that the rapist be allowed to go to Swancon this year, he's not asking that we forgive and forget as if nothing ever happened. He's just asking that we consider the greater context of a person's life when we react to an act they've done. He's not telling us what decision to make when we consider that greater context, he's just asking us to make sure we consider it.
Personally I don't know if I'd be capable of that in this context. Two of my girlfriends had been raped before I'd met them, one had never even spoken to anyone else about it and had been trying to deal with it herself for years. I've seen firsthand how it can destroy lives. The thought that someone could do that to my friends or loved ones makes me frantic with anger and helplessness. I really really don't know if I could see such an act in a greater context but if Danny is asking me to try then I'll at least think about whether I could.
Re: If not this, then what?
How about we keep it to that?"
Okay, we can do that.
Firstly, since Danny himself is a past victim of sexual assault I think he's more than welcome to speak up about the subject whenever he feels like it, directly or indirectly. If he disagrees with the the majority in some way I think it's even more crucial that he speaks up. The fact that a victim is speaking on behalf of offenders should give everyone pause for thought.
Secondly, I think it's hypocritical of you to post your own "No one's saying anything about this horrible situation so I'm gonna say what I think needs to be said" post and then tear down Danny for making this post which was done with a similar motivation. It's doubly hypocritical for you to make an appeal to the Principle of Charity and then come in here and scream at Danny for what you assume he was implying rather than what he actually said. That's why I felt I had to comment.
"You've told the members of a community that got up and said "this is wrong, and the man that did it isn't welcome in our space any more" that they shouldn't have done it."
Look, I get that Danny's post caused that reaction in you, but I honestly don't think that he was saying anything like that at all.
In fact he's said the exact opposite in several places. He's not asking that the rapist be allowed to go to Swancon this year, he's not asking that we forgive and forget as if nothing ever happened. He's just asking that we consider the greater context of a person's life when we react to an act they've done. He's not telling us what decision to make when we consider that greater context, he's just asking us to make sure we consider it.
Personally I don't know if I'd be capable of that in this context. Two of my girlfriends had been raped before I'd met them, one had never even spoken to anyone else about it and had been trying to deal with it herself for years. I've seen firsthand how it can destroy lives. The thought that someone could do that to my friends or loved ones makes me frantic with anger and helplessness. I really really don't know if I could see such an act in a greater context but if Danny is asking me to try then I'll at least think about whether I could.