Anime gender roles can be...problematic sometimes.
In terms of what is locally available (ie Region 4 DVD) I would look at: Twelve Kingdoms - Definitely Vision of Escaflowne - Definitely Noir - Possibly Fruits Basket - Maybe but probably not, a great show but the gender roles suck sometimes Kino's Journey is a good choice but subtle Witch Hunter Robin maybe .Hack//Sign is a possibility Le Chevalier D'Eon - haven't seen it all but definitely messes with gender roles Vampire Princess Miyu TV and (if available) OAV
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In terms of what is locally available (ie Region 4 DVD) I would look at:
Twelve Kingdoms - Definitely
Vision of Escaflowne - Definitely
Noir - Possibly
Fruits Basket - Maybe but probably not, a great show but the gender roles suck sometimes
Kino's Journey is a good choice but subtle
Witch Hunter Robin maybe
.Hack//Sign is a possibility
Le Chevalier D'Eon - haven't seen it all but definitely messes with gender roles
Vampire Princess Miyu TV and (if available) OAV