If I was going to Conflux, I'd tie you to a chair in the bar about half an hour before the auction started and pay people to keep you too busy to notice the time. Dude, if Sharon lets you auction, you are one very lucky man. Though if John wants to use you as a posing prop it might work.

"Look, see! Our beautiful bikini belle is modelling this perfect 24-appendage vacuum cleaner with detachable Eccleston-Doctor edgewidget. So easy to use, he can even stay sitting down. Don't you just want to buy it???"