dalekboy: (Dalek gets bothered)
dalekboy ([personal profile] dalekboy) wrote2007-08-02 08:42 pm

Fandom's Fatness follow-up, and something that *really* bothered me...

(If you can be bothered, probably worth clicking some of the links to get the full picture...)

Some people said they were angry or disappointed in me for my Fandom's Fatness post in 100 Days. Some people also agreed with it. Some saw it for what it was, an occasionally poorly worded post that addressed one particular aspect of the problem of health in fandom, something that concerns me because it affects people I care about. (I loved [livejournal.com profile] babalon_93's reply with "Health at any size" - that's a keeper! She also included a link to a fabulous video by Joy Nash. Interestingly I don't think of Nash as fat - she's a big girl but looks healthy...)

As I talked about in a previous 100 Days called The Look, I perceive different kinds of 'fat' people. Those that are big, but healthy, and those that are unhealthy. Many of the people I love, several people I fancy, and a lot of the people I admire are at least a little overweight, including my wife.

So it should be clear that I don't have a problem with people being overweight as such, it's mainly health and some of the less helpful attitudes and mindsets that I see that are the real issue for me. And those are an issue for me in many topics. I have some of the same reactions to people who are in jobs they detest but 'can't leave.' Some people are happy with their size and shape and fitness, others are not, and I touched on the psychological issues that a person in fandom can encounter that may hamper their efforts to change their lifestyle, if they are wanting to.

My tone was harsh, but I don't think any harsher than some of my other posts.

That there are many issues to do with weight, and health, I don't deny. And I did say, maybe not strongly or clearly enough for some folks, that sometimes there are other reasons and contributing factors. With almost any big issue, there are dozens or even hundreds of iterations you can potentially deal with. It's easier to pick on one or two aspects.

Of course, when reading something like that, it's easier for people to pay particular attention to the couple of things that move or upset them, and forget or miss other aspects of the piece. That sort of thing happens an awful lot on the internet. People get upset about the things that they feel affect them directly, or that they think may be aimed at them. So long as they don't perceive themselves or their attitudes and beliefs to be a target, they are usually quite happy to let all sorts of other nastiness go by unchallenged.

Now to touch on what bothered me. I have talked about other more personal or potentially more controversial topics without people taking issue with me they way they did with this one. Admittedly, this was my first 100 Days in ages, and the others may have been better written. However I didn't get anywhere near the reaction to posts where, amongst other things, I have admitted to having rape fantasies, being a low-level racist, or when I kicked the shit out of skeptics and basically accused many of being close-minded and ignorant.

However, it was as I was laying in bed today that this somewhat dark and disturbing thought suddenly crossed my mind... And it not only bothered me, it made me angry.

There should be no doubt to anyone who reads my livejournal that I want Lameo to die. That's not me being funny, or joking, it's me being pragmatic. I really hate him that much, I want him out of my life for good, and the simplest, most effective way for that to happen is for him to die.

I've had enough of him, of two decades of dealing with this waste of flesh, of the way when he turns up to events my enjoyment of them (and the enjoyment of a few other far more tolerant people) is immediately lessened, of his whiny, desperate attitude. I would love for him to improve, to live a worthwhile life, but we all know it will never happen, he will always be a dead rotting bird floating in the gene-pool of life.

I have said very honestly and openly on many occasions that I want him dead.

No one has ever said they were angry or disappointed in me for genuinely and actively wanting another human being to die...

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