Dalekboy

Most of you know I'm a working Santa. It's a job I love. People seem to expect the kids to be horrors, but in fact they're mostly pretty great. But the problem is the inequality.

Every year I'll get children through who want a single item for Christmas - a doll, or a game, or a truck - and I'll get the ones with lists that would challenge the carrying capacity of a Mack truck. The thing is, this often reflects their expectations of what they'll get for Christmas.

And of course, the kids are told that Father Christmas has brought most of their presents.

So after Christmas, when the kids are talking about what they got, you end up with one child who got a single small gift from St. Nick, while another talks about their new trampoline, gaming system, bike, remote controlled toy... all of which are also presents from Santa.

While that's lovely for those that get lots, it leaves any number of other children regarding their one or two gifts, and wondering why Santa doesn't like them as much. And that's without taking into account the children who won't get any presents at Christmas.

I'm not saying that if you can afford to buy your child lots of presents, and you want to, that you shouldn't. And I'm not asking everyone to go out and buy a raft-load of toys for the various charities that pass them on to the people who can't afford to buy things for their children, though that'd be nice.

All I'm asking people to do is to just pick one, not the biggest, or most expensive, and say that's the special gift that Santa has brought for them. If you want, tell them that you bought the other presents, and asked Father Christmas to deliver them especially, but please, don't let them think that every parcel is a personal gift to them from St. Nick.

Chances are it won't make that much difference to your child, but after Christmas it will hopefully help any number of other kids feel like Santa isn't playing favourites, or wondering why he doesn't like them.

Russell Farr's a good bloke, a good editor, and at the moment he's raising money for the Eden Monaro Cancer Support Group, who are helping look after his mum.

The way he's raising money is by offering to have his head completely shaved, hair and beard, if the money reaches his target amount.

Not only is the thought Russell becoming a nude-nut highly amusing, but both my parents had cancer, one survived. I've lost friends and relatives to it. Any group that helps support victims of cancer and their families is okay by me.

Plus, Russell, shaved, oh yes!

So if you don't want to donate for the good and charitable reasons, do it so Russell undergoes The Shavening, the money will still get where it's needed, and that's the main thing.

This piece is not about any one person specifically, it's about the way people are demonised in general.

I want you to think about the worst thing you've ever done. Something, no matter how long ago you did it, that you're still ashamed of. Don't shy away from it, think hard about the nastiest, shittiest, lowest thing you've ever done to someone.

Now, I want you to imagine people in general, and the internet as a vague group, deciding that's the person you really are.

Think about how they would react, how they would treat you, attack you, the things they would write about you - for a single act. It doesn't matter if it was a mistake, deliberate, or if there were extenuating circumstances - they don't care. There's little to no forgiveness out there, almost every time folks talk about you, it will be in relation to whatever it was you did.

How would that make you feel, as the weeks became months and years, and people still brought it up? How would you feel about the fact that no matter what else you did, there would always be someone there ready to bring up that single bad decision and start the whole thing up again? That every other positive act in your entire life would be deemed unimportant or irrelevant compared to this single event.

I'm not saying there should be universal forgiveness. Some people repeatedly do horrid things to others. I'm not saying there shouldn't be a price to pay for a single error, sometimes we have to make amends. But if the only issue you can find with a person is one really bad thing they've done, then doesn't that suggest there may be more to them than that one act?

Remember this the next time the crowd starts baying for someone's blood over a single mistake, especially if you're part of that crowd. Other people are as complex and have as many layers as you do.

You, and I, are not just the worst thing we ever did.

And neither is anyone else.

Way back in '91, (or was it '92?) I ran a convention and very deliberately insisted on a panel about being a parent and staying active in fandom. It had two two fan mums on it. Back at that point, I think I knew three people with kids that were still active fans. ( A little long, and a bit of swearing... )

One of the things I've become conscious of in recent months is my priorities. They haven't changed, I'm just aware of them now.

While my health and fitness has improved slowly but steadily since the stroke, I still have a fairly limited amount of spoons, and even when I'm doing well, it doesn't take much to steal them all if I'm not careful. I've been tending to beat myself up a bit for not getting things done, but then recently I realised how it is I work my limited resources. ( Read more... )

* April and Andy visited on the weekend. Yay!

* My car indicator continues to play up. Boo!

* Sharon and I got to go see Up on Sunday. It was good and didn't stupidly pander to the 3D. Yay!

* Sharon's grandpa died Sunday night. He was an awesome old bloke. Boo!

( More under cut, some TMI... )

The mid to late nineties was when I first had the base idea for the Continuum Conventions. I still have most of my notes from then, filed away where I can one day come across them and say, "So that's where they were!"

I've never thought as myself as a good person for running cons, or something like the Continuum Foundation for that matter. ( Read more... )

So, after my post on how Media and Lit Natcons were joined, and how media fandom as a whole got thoroughly screwed, general consensus was that the whole situation sucked.

( So what are we going to do about it? )

In the early 90's the media Natcon was going gangbusters (300-400+ attendees), the lit Natcon was dying with a slowly decreasing (around 200) and aging membership. With the success of a couple of joint media/lit Natcons, it was suggested that Australia's population was so small the two cons should be joined.

It would mean a bigger overall Natcon with a larger budget. Everyone would win. The media fans had no reason to do this. Their Natcon was doing fine. The only reason they did it was out of a sense of community. It would be good for fandom as a whole to have a single, bigger Natcon. ( Read more... )

This post has been brewing for a couple of years. It's not about any one of the many causes worth fighting for, it's not about or aimed at any one person, it hasn't been spurred on by any one event.

Abuse and accusations are not how you win people over to your way of thinking. Keeping your allies on the back-foot because you think they should know better does not help teach them how to better understand or present your side of an argument. ( Read more... )