dalekboy | *kaf* *kaf* baby *kaf*

Current Mood: sick

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I have a cold. It's to be expected. I'm mixing with a lot of people with swimming and such, not to mention going from a heated pool to the Canberra cold. It's slowing down my progress on getting through things, but I'm not fussed.

I was actually feeling crap enough that I spent several hours lying in bed yesteday. At one point, as I was lying there, I thought "Ahhhh.... this is a luxury I won't have shortly." Once my Manitou demon-spawn comes bursting out Sharon's back (how many people get that reference?) being able to actually rest while sick will become a thing of the past.

I'm looking forward to the oncoming insanity and chaos. It helps that both Sharon and I are bright enough to know that no matter how much we know, we're still fully unprepared for the impact the little bugger will have on our lives. That all those things that we'd rather not do with our child, well, some of those are going to get smashed through by the reality train. We want the baby in our room, to make life easier on Sharon having to get up and feed, etc., knowing full well that we may give up and put the baby in its own room out of sheer desperation for a night's sleep.

I'm still hoping that it'll pop out and be a girl. I've heard three different stories of babies being firmly identified as male during scans, only to have it come out female. But as long as it's born healthy, has all its limbs, a head, teeth, claws, and a prehensile tail, that's all that matters.

It's also going to be an interesting experiment. I've had a few

people comment on how small children always want the comfort of mum when things go wrong, and I can't help but wonder how much of that has to do with mum usually being the primary care-giver. At the moment, I'm the only guy I know who is going to be primary care-giver for their baby, so will be interesting to see down the track who Lex goes to for comfort.

Music will be interesting, too. Lex will get to hear a broad range of stuff - blues, classical, euro-pop, techno, 1920s and onwards, John Barry soundtracks to Bond movies, rock, Devo, Big Pig, Garbage, the Goons, KLF, Swedish death metal, the Residents... what will appeal? I like Hi Five, but how much of their music can I listen to on endless repeat? How many Doctor Who soundtracks can Lex listen to before he starts screaming?

I'm looking forward to the firsts... first word (quasinuclearphaseinterlockeddipthrungretarders), first laugh, first steps, first tattoo... looking forward to reading to him, myths and fables, childrens classics, Dr Suess, Tintin, Asterix and Obelix, various Shaun Tan... and introducing the film and TV that I love, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Twilight Zone, Catweazle, Hammer Horror movies (though not til the age of six, of course), Gamera, The Adventures of Superman, The Day the Earth Stood Still, the Disney classics, Pixar films...

Can't be prepared for any of the twists and surprises (Lex, why did you set fire to Parliament?), or the nasty shocks (You want to be a chartered accountant?) but I'm looking forward to the adventure.

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I think you're about as well prepared as any parent could be, and probably better than most. You're seriously thinking about it, and taking advance steps such as the swimming lessons.

I think you and Sharon will do just fine.

Oh and re this bit:

Can't be prepared for any of the twists and surprises (Lex, why did you set fire to Parliament?), or the nasty shocks (You want to be a chartered accountant?) but I'm looking forward to the adventure.

The former might be a problem but can't really see the latter happening. :)

Kids can rebel in funny ways.

I think you guys will be fine though. You're wise enough to have prepared what you can, and to know that there's some stuff you won't have forseen.

I'm putting money on the kid rebelling by claiming he/she hates Doctor Who.

Hit your father where it hurts, that's the whole point of rebellion.

Kids can rebel in funny ways.

Yup. For a quirky Aussie movie example, see The Rage in Placid Lake

I like Hi Five, but how much of their music can I listen to on endless repeat? How many Doctor Who soundtracks can Lex listen to before he starts screaming?

You like Hi Five? I don't think we can be friends anymore ;-)
No, what I wanted to point out was that kids love the familiar, and love repetition. So Dr Who soundtracks should be fine!
I watched so much M*A*S*H and BtVS while I was pregnant that for a short while after she was born Abbey would pay close attention when either of those themes were played.

I do like Hi Five, and not just because all the female members fancy me. I like that they wear bright clothes, have coloured hair. I like the teaching with songs aspect, etc. Though I admit i haven't seen it in years. I also don't mind the Wiggles. Strangely, they all fancy me, too.

MASH/BtVS story is great :)

For the first 8 months of her life, Aerin and I watched M*A*S*H and Deal or No Deal every single day. She's just over a year old now, and she still stops what's she's doing and watches and listens when the M*A*S*H theme song comes on.

See... we picked our son's name to be uncommon—and what do we find? I'm reading my friend's list and someone commenting has a child of (essentially) the same name:-(

(Of course, we were only aiming for uncommon, not unique:-) )

Your son's name is Aerin?

Near enough... (your daughter is the 'Robin McKinley' spelling? Our son is different, but I'm guessing the pronunciation is pretty similar)

I don't know who Robin McKinley is (although I have just googled her and saw she is an author).

We chose Aerin because we loved the name Erin, but there is a tradition of "A" names in my partners family, so we added the A to the front, but it's pronounced the same as Erin. It's a spelling I hadn't ever seen anywhere at that time, so we didn't get it from anywhere. It's a name that has personal meaning for us.

Author of some fabulous children's fantasy:-) She has an Aerin in one of her books as a main character, and as a mythical figure in a second (Blue Sword, and The Hero and the Crown, but I can't remember which is which—I do recommend them both:-) ). I was rather surprised after my (spelt with a 'y', although 'o' is the traditional Welsh way, meaning 'berry') child was born, and I was re-reading these books, that the character was there... I had completely forgotten her.

I fell to the rash assumption that _of course_ anyone of Danny's friends _must_ be into the same SF/F as me:-) Which is _so_ true—even of the people I know:-)

We pronounce ours with a long first syllable—although, unless you know to listen for it, most people don't pick the difference.

I googled her books, and I think I may have to pick up the ones with Aerin's name in them for her book collection. I think she'll get a kick out of seeing her name in a book. :)

While I am into SF/F, not as much as Danny and a lot of his friends. I'm more part of the Who Crew and that's how I met him.

Haven't really been a part of the Who scene with the new series on, mainly because I've just had other stuff to do. I'd dropped out of old Who fandom because it seemed mostly full of intolerant, self-important, ignorant, arrogant, humourless bastards.

There just weren't many folks you could actually have a real conversation with, so meeting you and Whochick was a pleasure. Never got to know you guys well, but enjoyed our interactions :)

Here here about the old Who Fandom... say the wrong thing and you become crucified where you stand. And heaven forbid if you should have your own opinion.

Same with meeting you too! I won't ever forget the Who panel we were on at Continuum. That was just awesome!

If we go with Alexander, it's not common but not unusual either. If Lex pops out and is female (fingers crossed) the name would probably be Alexandrovna, after my grandmum. An unusual name, but only because it's old and... I can't remember if it's Russian, Jewish, or something else.

Welcome to the journey. Every day is different.

(Somebody started crawling this week. They are also only waking for one feed a night now.)

First time he (or she) brings a person of the opposite sex home who you disapprove of and have to threaten with a large shotgun.

First time He (or she) brings a person of the opposite sex home for purly platonic fun and you hand them a box of condoms and embarrass them both.

My partner stays home with our baby (who's now nearly 3)

The funniest thing is her appeal to Dad when I decide she's just playing rather than breastfeeding late at night.

Yay! The stay-at-home dad thing is way too rare.

A friend was the primary caregiver for his twin girls - if you would like to read his LJ, which often deals with the babies, he's

hzatz.

I'm sure you and Sharon will be great parents... and also that you're right about not getting any sleep for a while :->

You'll be amazed what is instinctual about being a parent for the first time. I was. It's your baby and you just know.

A small word of advice... Nursing is hard work, whether it comes naturally and easy or not. Being the sole person who can give nourishment to a tiny baby every two hours is very demanding... I found that Dad's role in getting up and doing the nappy changes and all the during the night to be indespensible.

Oh and you'll get used to having the babe sleeping in the same room as you, it becomes a sort of comfort listening to the sound of him breathing as you drift off to sleep.

Heh. You see this is one of the things I love about talking with other parents. You see, we choofed both our kids off to their own rooms quite early, and I think it was one of the best things we did.

For us, that is. I can't suggest other parents do this but for US, it worked.

One thing that was frustrating with the first child (But we got the hang of for the second child) is that there is SO much advice out there. SO much contradiction. It come about because EVERY child is different. What worked for Mum / Dad / Aunt Thelma / The strange smelling Cat Lady at the bus stop MAY NOT WORK FOR YOU!

So. Don't let anyone tell you you are doing it wrong. Cos someone will tell you (Very shortly) that you are doing it right.

(Heck between bub 1 and bub 2 we got told that we no longer had to sterilise everything! We still did for a short while, but as soon as bub 2 was putting things in their mouth there really didn't seem much point. "Oh here, take that dirty spoon you snatched off my desk out of your mouth and have this nice clean sterilised bottle")

That's why I say that a lot of being a parent is instinctual. Even for a first time parents. If it's working or not working, you just know regardless of what everybody else says because it's your baby.

We moved my daughter into her own room at about 5 months because she outgrew her newborn crib. Then we got in the bad habit of bringing her to bed with us for the night feedings and it was terrible hard to break her of that (we did eventually, thank heavens).

I learned early on that you don't need to sterilize for bottle feeding breastmilk, but we usually did once, right when things came out of the box and then just warm, soapy water from then on.

Well I generally expected to be the main one getting up during the night. I wake fairly easily. Shaz and I have already discussed her expressing so I can feed during the night as well, assuming she can express.

I have no problem with people wanting their babies in a separate room. But I think it's a very Western attitude. There are many cultures that would look at it as something close to child abuse. "Hang on, you put your baby off in room alone so it can't see, hear or smell you?"

I knew people who's babies slept in their own rooms from the start and it doesn't damage them none. For us, it just meant that we only needed to keep one room warm at night and didn't have to go far for feeding and changing. We moved her into her own bed at about five months because she outgrew her little newborn crib.

Adrian used to do one night feeding a night for me so I could sleep and it was a Godsend. I think he did the 4 am feeding. Took her downstairs and away from me, made up her bottle of expressed milk and then rocked her till she went back to sleep.

Just remember not to wear yourself out, too. :)

I can not lie: the main reason I desire to have a child one day is to terrify their dates once they start being stupid enough to bring them home.

Let me guess: the second reason is the opportunity to use embarassing baby photos/stories at 18th and 21st birthday parties.

:)

No, the second reason is to tell them constant and terrible lies.

How is that different to any other parent?

Because my lies will be hilarious.

*grins* I suppose all the standard ones (Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, parents always knowing whats best etc etc) do get a bit boring after awhile...

I remember as a kid knowing that if a conversation with my parents ended with "because I said so", then I had clearly won.

And you see so many other children wouldn't have taken that statement that way.

If you pick dogs up by the ears, it doesn't hurt them as much.

John Howard was our grumpiest Prime Minister, because he had no bottom, and so hated all of us that have one.

All the answers you ever need can be found in one book if you read it carefully enough - Horns of Nimon by Terrence Dicks.

Danny La Rue wasn't real, he was all done with stop motion animation.

There's a dwarf called Foul Herbert. He creeps into your room at night and hangs from your ceiling watching you to make sure you sleep. If you wake up, he'll pee on you.

The Doctor used to be evil. If you watch King Kong Escapes, you can see him being evil. He regenerated into William Hartnell and wanted to make up for all his bad deeds.

Star Wars is a historical film.

No sweetie, there was a monster under your bed. The wolves ate it.

Vampires can't get you at night, because they haven't been invited into the house. However, if you don't eat your sprouts, I will invite them in.

Uncle Grant used to be a Mafia Hitman. He was meant to kill Auntie Sonia, but when she beat the shit out of him, he fell in love and proposed.

At night, when the house creaks and makes noises, it's try to eat us.

The sky is blue because we're surrounded by water. The stars at night are glowing plankton.

Belgium doesn't actually exist. If you try to go there, there's an empty space and a sign explaining everything you need to know to keep the joke going.

There used to be land between Tasmania and the mainland, until America accidently bombed the area during the Second World War.

The reason the Egyptians used to worship cats is because when the people reached Egypt, the pyramids were already there, and so were the cats, so they thought they built them. In fact the pyramids were built by mice, but the cats invaded.

Headlice have a language and a culture very similar to France.

Sheep overheat and explode if you don't sheer them.

Every time a bell rings, and Angel does a fart joke.

Your child is doomed.

I have clearly won :D

Tired now *kaf* *kaf*

When the ice cream van is playing the music, it means all the ice cream is gone ;)

Oh, that's inspired!

When that noisy toy you don't like runs down, you tell them that it takes special batteries you can't buy here.

If you don't leave your tooth under the pillow for the tooth fairy, she takes one of the good ones.

Don't press the button on the remote control more than you need to. If the TV is already on channel X, pressing the remote control button again means that a second remote has been sent out with nothing to do. Over time they build up, more and more remotes, invisible and intangible, hanging in your house... waiting...

Carpet tastes like fairy floss.

You have to watch old black and white TV shows now and again, or your eyes forget how to understand black and white, and you can no longer read.

I have discovered that steamed spouts, cut in half with a little butter are really quite nice to eat.

Life is full of surprises. The more people you have close interaction with the more likely you are to have cool random stuff happen. Small people add more randomness. You'll both be fine.

And you can also take the story of my aunt who belived her second child would be a girl and then brought her son home to a room that was pink and frilly as to the accuracy of gender determination through ultrasound :P

As a baby, my daughter used to cry every time she heard the Buffy theme music. So i recorded 2 1/2 seasons and watched Sex and the City--still hanging out to see the movie! Right now Gen and her friend jess are making Honey joys in the kitchen; yummy.

I think you're right about wanting the primary caregiver for comfort.

As an infant/toddler my youngest child would go to Tusk before he came to me, and he would go to

battblush before he came to me. Although I swear it is because I was so upset about being pregnant for almost the entire pregnancy that he picked up on those emotions. Munchkin is the the most affectionate kid now, but he didn't want to know me then.

Bilby is _very_ much her Dada's girl... unless she's hungry, she tends to go to livelurker for comfort (well, when he's home), even though I'm the one who's there most of the time:-)

Kids love what they hear music-wise:-) Puggle sings folksongs with me:-) His current favourite is the Skye Boat song... The days are _far_ too long in my opinion to spend the time listening to music that you don't really like:-) (I blogged in the last couple of days about children and music... there's a link to an interesting article on the topic... No link here though, so you'll actually need to go there to see it:-) )

Personally, I'm in the 'baby in the room' camp:-) I don't wake when it's time to feed after the first couple of months... unless there's more needed than just a feed... makes for _much_ less sleeplessness:-) (Or at least, that's the way it's worked with the first two... we'll see what happens with Cygnet:-) )

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Nothing is ever the same

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