I too found this post informative on a number of levels, having an interesting relationship situation myself. Re the moral people; it's easy enough for an X to accuse you of something you didn't do; I was accused of raping a girl I went out with. Interestingly enough many more people believed her story rather than my version of events. A friend of mine asked another friend, "Did Kerry really rape xyzzy?" to which the second friend replied, "just think about what you just said and what you know about Kerry, what do YOU think?" doubt is a powerful force indeed. Luckily I had enough friends to stick up for me and explain how things really were to those who were unsure. Of course I would have explained it myself; but nobody saw fit to ask me. The second point is that morals are such an intangible thing; given the subjective nature of the world morals depend on where you stand. I learnt a long time ago to not say "I would never..." just in case I did. I recall when my wife became involved with a guy on the bowling trip, and what an initial social mess that was. I remember the bolwing people not knowing what to say to me. I wanted to just yell at them and say "Yes I know she shagged mr H; now can we get back to normal and can you leave the details of this with me?" We ended up sorting the whole thing out; in the process rewriting our rule book, and as a result we are now closer together than we ever were before. She is also aware of her responsibilities, and even with this awareness it doesn't stop her from doing the things she wants within reason. I gained freedoms I rarely exercise, and we're better people as a result. If we're both honest with each other in all things, then by definition lying and cheating won't finish our marriage. No-one ever said telling the truth was the easiest thing to do, but if you do take that path, then at least you will know that you have been as true to yourself and others as you can be. that was far too long for a comment; but there you have it.
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an interesting post
Date: 2006-09-20 09:08 am (UTC)The second point is that morals are such an intangible thing; given the subjective nature of the world morals depend on where you stand. I learnt a long time ago to not say "I would never..." just in case I did.
I recall when my wife became involved with a guy on the bowling trip, and what an initial social mess that was. I remember the bolwing people not knowing what to say to me. I wanted to just yell at them and say "Yes I know she shagged mr H; now can we get back to normal and can you leave the details of this with me?" We ended up sorting the whole thing out; in the process rewriting our rule book, and as a result we are now closer together than we ever were before. She is also aware of her responsibilities, and even with this awareness it doesn't stop her from doing the things she wants within reason.
I gained freedoms I rarely exercise, and we're better people as a result. If we're both honest with each other in all things, then by definition lying and cheating won't finish our marriage.
No-one ever said telling the truth was the easiest thing to do, but if you do take that path, then at least you will know that you have been as true to yourself and others as you can be.
that was far too long for a comment; but there you have it.