It was spousal abuse (your gf) and she's bloody lucky to have someone to help her train out of the habit of using violence to make her points.
A lot of people will probably leap about going "OMGWTFPOLARBEAR" abotu your dad, that's true, and there's often reasons for it that they just don't want to examine. Do they know someone who might be doing it? Are they doing it themselves? Did their parents have something similar? Questions which are way too hard to answer, it's so much easier to just get upset instead at the mention. I expect however that most people on your flist have already thought about these sorts of things, or at least are peripherally aware of these sorts of issues and can be understanding.
I don't believe that your father was any better or worse than any other father out there for what he did. It's just life, unfortunately. I expect he probably just didn't see a different life. He didn't like what he was doing, but in a way it was easier than trying to find out why he was doing it and then trying to stop himself from going down the same patterns and doing it again. A lot like binge drinking, promiscuity, repeat bad relationships... He was just human. And if you are/were angry at him, that's also completely understandable. It won't ever solve anything, but it's inderstandably human.
And also, being understandably human, I expect he did want to be punished for what he was doing. He knew it was a cancer in his soul, and that he couldn't cut it out himself.
I don't know if it's just my friends or just the newer generations, but I still find a lot of soul searching and self analysis going on. I also get that this is quite rare outside my social groups. It's not a common trait in Western societies to reflect on your actions in any great depth.
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Date: 2006-10-29 03:59 am (UTC)A lot of people will probably leap about going "OMGWTFPOLARBEAR" abotu your dad, that's true, and there's often reasons for it that they just don't want to examine. Do they know someone who might be doing it? Are they doing it themselves? Did their parents have something similar? Questions which are way too hard to answer, it's so much easier to just get upset instead at the mention. I expect however that most people on your flist have already thought about these sorts of things, or at least are peripherally aware of these sorts of issues and can be understanding.
I don't believe that your father was any better or worse than any other father out there for what he did. It's just life, unfortunately. I expect he probably just didn't see a different life. He didn't like what he was doing, but in a way it was easier than trying to find out why he was doing it and then trying to stop himself from going down the same patterns and doing it again. A lot like binge drinking, promiscuity, repeat bad relationships... He was just human. And if you are/were angry at him, that's also completely understandable. It won't ever solve anything, but it's inderstandably human.
And also, being understandably human, I expect he did want to be punished for what he was doing. He knew it was a cancer in his soul, and that he couldn't cut it out himself.
I don't know if it's just my friends or just the newer generations, but I still find a lot of soul searching and self analysis going on. I also get that this is quite rare outside my social groups. It's not a common trait in Western societies to reflect on your actions in any great depth.