What concerns me is that there will always be the group who deliberately ignore no-kids-please policies. The website saying ADULT CONCEPTS, the sign on the door saying NO CHILDREN ALLOWED (THIS MEANS YOU), the fact that there's no way to get a stroller inside without twenty minutes of struggling, the complete lack of kids' concession tickets, the way that security tosses them and their kids into the outside dumpster... it just doesn't register.
Yes, there are adult fans who act up and should probably be introduced to Mr Dumpster as well. And yes, there are kids which aren't air raid sirens 24/7. That's not the point. The point, in a lot of cases, is that people came to an adult-oriented SF convention because they were expecting an environment which was, amongst other things, free of kids. You don't expect to find kids down the pub, you don't expect to find kids in top-class restaurants, you don't expect to find kids at the 9:30pm movie session on a school night, and you don't expect to find kids at cons aimed at serious fans.
It's disconcerting, disruptive, and deleterious to the atmosphere and enjoyment for attendees, even if the kids themselves are perfectly behaved. People now have to curb their language, tone down their behaviour, watch out for small crawling, stumbling, or charging things at ankle and groin level, put away their more risque or delicate costumes, lock the doors on M-, R-, and X-rated viewings, avoid telling some of the more interesting anecdotes on panels, pack up non-child-friendly merchandise, move their other items out of grabbing range, and so on and so forth - all because SOME IDIOT BROUGHT A GODDAMN CHILD.
Sigh.
Kids, y'know... kids are fine. Kids are great. There are pop-culture expos and whatnot that cater for kids. There are creches and childminding services and babysitters and friends and family and fellow fans and a hundred and one ways to be a parent and still attend cons.
Deliberately and gratuitously pissing off 95% of the fandom by dragging a kid along to a non-kid-friendly convention purely for the purposes of getting a convention fix is... well, I won't say "horribly fucking selfish in so many ways" here, because I'm sure there will be someone along shortly to do so.
It does amaze me, though, that there really does seem to be some kind of mental block that all too often falls into place when people have kids they're responsible for (and this doesn't just apply to parents). It's as if they have enough processing room for "Must protect the kid" and "I want", but nothing left over for "How many people are going to hate my guts for doing this". It's as if the mere fact of having a kid absolves them from all other social responsibility to the point where it doesn't even have to be considered in the first place - regardless of whether it's even for the kid's benefit.
Back to the original topic, though - parents and fandom. I agree that it couldn't hurt to raise more awareness of how it's possible to be a parent and stay in fandom (including attending cons). Parenthood and fandom are two things which can easily clash - both can be drains on time, money, and schedules. Simply being in one can partially preclude the other, and when it comes to the crunch, fandom is going to lose out every time.
How have other parent-fans managed to successfully stay in fandom? It might be worth a look to see how people have made the transition, particularly after having their first child. Perhaps there's enough material for a panel on "Fandom vs major life events".
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Date: 2010-01-27 07:12 am (UTC)Yes, there are adult fans who act up and should probably be introduced to Mr Dumpster as well. And yes, there are kids which aren't air raid sirens 24/7. That's not the point. The point, in a lot of cases, is that people came to an adult-oriented SF convention because they were expecting an environment which was, amongst other things, free of kids. You don't expect to find kids down the pub, you don't expect to find kids in top-class restaurants, you don't expect to find kids at the 9:30pm movie session on a school night, and you don't expect to find kids at cons aimed at serious fans.
It's disconcerting, disruptive, and deleterious to the atmosphere and enjoyment for attendees, even if the kids themselves are perfectly behaved. People now have to curb their language, tone down their behaviour, watch out for small crawling, stumbling, or charging things at ankle and groin level, put away their more risque or delicate costumes, lock the doors on M-, R-, and X-rated viewings, avoid telling some of the more interesting anecdotes on panels, pack up non-child-friendly merchandise, move their other items out of grabbing range, and so on and so forth - all because SOME IDIOT BROUGHT A GODDAMN CHILD.
Sigh.
Kids, y'know... kids are fine. Kids are great. There are pop-culture expos and whatnot that cater for kids. There are creches and childminding services and babysitters and friends and family and fellow fans and a hundred and one ways to be a parent and still attend cons.
Deliberately and gratuitously pissing off 95% of the fandom by dragging a kid along to a non-kid-friendly convention purely for the purposes of getting a convention fix is... well, I won't say "horribly fucking selfish in so many ways" here, because I'm sure there will be someone along shortly to do so.
It does amaze me, though, that there really does seem to be some kind of mental block that all too often falls into place when people have kids they're responsible for (and this doesn't just apply to parents). It's as if they have enough processing room for "Must protect the kid" and "I want", but nothing left over for "How many people are going to hate my guts for doing this". It's as if the mere fact of having a kid absolves them from all other social responsibility to the point where it doesn't even have to be considered in the first place - regardless of whether it's even for the kid's benefit.
Back to the original topic, though - parents and fandom. I agree that it couldn't hurt to raise more awareness of how it's possible to be a parent and stay in fandom (including attending cons). Parenthood and fandom are two things which can easily clash - both can be drains on time, money, and schedules. Simply being in one can partially preclude the other, and when it comes to the crunch, fandom is going to lose out every time.
How have other parent-fans managed to successfully stay in fandom? It might be worth a look to see how people have made the transition, particularly after having their first child. Perhaps there's enough material for a panel on "Fandom vs major life events".