I'm well aware of your situation, and it's a horrible one.
What I will say is that if he was making people uncomfortable, then those people needed to say something to the con committee(s). That would allow them to go up to him and say that they've had complaints and so could ask him to stop. If he'd been warned away from such behaviour, he may have been in a lesser position to groom you in the first place.
The committee are busy running cons, it's just not practical to assume they will know that one individual out of 300+ is acting in a way that makes people feel unsafe or uncomfortable if no-one makes the complaint in the first place.
Let me stress, I am not blaming you in any way. However, if other people failed to complain, they have unwittingly helped him by allowing his behaviour to continue unchecked until it's too late, and someone, in this case you, has been hurt.
I studied full body relaxation massage. The reason you've never seen me massage people at cons is that over 30 years I have seen way too many people across Australia who gave massages that I thought crossed the line between massage and groping. For me, I'd rather not give people massages than be potentially thought of as another of the creepy feel-up merchants. The feel-up massagers also tend to gain a group of people who welcome that sort of massage, and will actively and publically ask for one, which further blurs the line for con committees.
I will also state that I have also seen people who give genuine massages, but they do tend to be in the minority.
If you want to know what I would have done if I'd been on committee regarding your situation, write to me directly.
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Date: 2010-01-31 03:14 am (UTC)What I will say is that if he was making people uncomfortable, then those people needed to say something to the con committee(s). That would allow them to go up to him and say that they've had complaints and so could ask him to stop. If he'd been warned away from such behaviour, he may have been in a lesser position to groom you in the first place.
The committee are busy running cons, it's just not practical to assume they will know that one individual out of 300+ is acting in a way that makes people feel unsafe or uncomfortable if no-one makes the complaint in the first place.
Let me stress, I am not blaming you in any way. However, if other people failed to complain, they have unwittingly helped him by allowing his behaviour to continue unchecked until it's too late, and someone, in this case you, has been hurt.
I studied full body relaxation massage. The reason you've never seen me massage people at cons is that over 30 years I have seen way too many people across Australia who gave massages that I thought crossed the line between massage and groping. For me, I'd rather not give people massages than be potentially thought of as another of the creepy feel-up merchants. The feel-up massagers also tend to gain a group of people who welcome that sort of massage, and will actively and publically ask for one, which further blurs the line for con committees.
I will also state that I have also seen people who give genuine massages, but they do tend to be in the minority.
If you want to know what I would have done if I'd been on committee regarding your situation, write to me directly.