Lex's behaviour so far in regards to MaybeZoe

[dalekboy]

Background - For the last several weeks prior to MaybeZoe being born, Lex has been moving steadily into a major developmental shift. We'd had people comment on him entering the 'terrible twos' before this, which we rejected as his troublesome behaviour coincided with major tooth-pain - in other words, he was in pain, so of course he was being unhappy.

But this new shift is different. He gets frustrated and confused very easily, even by things that previously didn't bother him. He gets angry, screaming, banging things, and not eating his food. He's also being exceptionally needy, constantly wanting cuddles, wanting an extended bedtime routine, and still screaming and crying when we leave him.

At the same time, he's showing a huge shift in his ability to understand concepts, and also referring to things from books that haven't been read to him for ages. The interesting thing about those books are that previously he never showed any understanding of the things referred to in them, or even said the words. Now he's coming up with many of them from memory, unbidden.

And now MaybeZoe is here...

Just by his nature, I always thought he'd be a good big brother. But, a new baby in the house, demanding the attention of both parents at a time when he's moody and needy, was bound to evoke a prefectly reasonable level of animosity from him towards her.

Except it hasn't, not so far.

In fact, he's been substantially better than we could have hoped. Not just good, but amazingly, delightfully good. From his first time seeing her in the hospital, he was rapt. Everything about her fascinates him. And he's unbelievably gentle with her, fingertips gently touching and poking. Even though she's drawing attention away from him at a time when he's really demanding it, he loves being around her, watching her, and touching her.

Last time we took them out together, he spent a portion of the time reaching out so she could hold his hand. Today I took him and mum out, and he was really upset that MaybeZoe wasn't in the babyseat next to his. When he hears her crying, he starts saying, "Bubby coming?" He's actively looking forward to her being around. Tonight, he was making his toys kiss her.

If fact, in the short term the real problem will be him loving her too much. Need to make sure he's not putting toys in with her, trying to give her a blanket or pillow, and so on.

We're under no illusions, it can't last, but for the moment, he's being the sweetest brother ever.

Lex, in years to come you'll read this and we want you to know, you really are an amazing big brother. MaybeZoe, you've been blessed in your first days to have a brother who loves you so very much, even while going through a rough time himself.

Comments

[stephbg.livejournal.com]

My brother was 12 when I was born and by all accounts was extremely protective of me until I was about 3 and "turned into a sister". He eventually recovered :-)

[shrydar.livejournal.com]

That's so gorgeous about Lex's current attitude towards MaybeZoe :)


Must say though, I'm finding it hard not to be distracted today by the subtle reflections of Dalek bumps on your layout - possibly because I shared Genesis of the Daleks with rabbit1080 a couple of days ago. Grey Daleks are wonderfully utilitarian. *shudder*

[callistra.livejournal.com]

I don't know, my kids still seem to be loving and sweet and awesome.
:D

So I don't think it will go away too soon!

Also, yes on the terrible twos! I try and remember it's a) the inability to make us hear what he's saying when he can understand what we're saying, and b) his body is growing and changing and hormones are changing too.

Jack is still in the TT stage.

[mynxii.livejournal.com]

Awww :) Babalon's eldest E was gorgeous with baby_C when she was born :)

[tikiwanderer.livejournal.com]

This is all very cool, both about Lex as a big brother and about him remembering and talking about the stuff from the books. and I'm guessing it's a relief to the two of you as well that he's not making it nearly as hard for you as he could be :-)

[ariaflame.livejournal.com]

Glad he's enjoying being a big brother.

Hope you guys are managing to get enough sleep. How is MaybeZoe on the sleep front so far?

[sjkasabi.livejournal.com]

Awww.

And if Zoe doesn't work out - we did consider "Davrosia" for MLG. For longer than was sensible really. I mean, you could shorten it to Rosy, and only the true fans would understand...

[fe2h2o.livejournal.com]

Well, we're still waiting for it to stop lasting:-)

Admittedly, neither of the older ones is perfect in this regard, they do both choose to tease their younger sibling(s) at times... but by and large, they want to love them more than they'd like to be loved:-)

[mireille21.livejournal.com]

Ditto with the loving too much. J hears A cry and goes to pick her up. He is frequently wanting to kiss and pat her, and wants a few cuddles every day. On day 1 he gave her half his box of sultanas :) i wish I could have captured that on film, but I was feeding her at the time. He managed to perch thse box just neatly in her hand. It's great. Apparently the fascination is perfectly natural at this age. Let's see how long it lasts until boredom or jealousy sets in... i for one, am hoping it never does and that the love and adoration continue on.