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Phobic people
Now I don't actually have a problem with phobic people, but I do have a problem with the folks that like to terrorise them.
In simple terms, it's one thing to throw a rubber spider at someone just to give them a shock, most people have deliberately scared someone at some point in their life. It's running at a completely different level to try to terrify someone you know has a pathological fear.
Oh I freely admit, whenever I hear about someone with a phobia, my evil gene kicks in. I want to give them a good fright, see them freak out. The difference I see in this case between being an adult and being a juvenile is the empathy involved, even if you're tempted, you don't do it because it's the wrong thing to do to someone. You've been scared, you know how horrible it can be.
I used to have a friend who was incredibly scared of spiders. No matter the size, they absolutely terrified him. One day as we're talking, I see a little money spider waltzing across his hair.
"Dude, close your eyes for a minute."
"No... why, what are you going to do?"
"Just trust me. Close your eyes, I'll tell you when to open them."
"No, you're a bastard. What are you going to do to me."
"Yes, I am a bastard, but I'm being serious. I'll explain in a minute."
He closes his eyes, I tell him to keep still. I get the spider and take it outside, then come back and say he can open his eyes. He asked what that was all about.
"You had a money spider on you."
His legs gave way, he almost fell to the floor, and then he thanked me with so much genuine gratitude, it was heart-breaking. Part of the gratitude came from me not letting him know the spider was on him, until after it had been dealt with.
I think most people go after folks with phobias not because it's funny, but because it's an easy way to feel powerful. "Oh look, they're scared of this tiny little thing that doesn't scare me." It's always easier to feel good about yourself while laughing at the other guy who is paralysed with fear.
To the folks that do, I can only hope they'll spend a few hours tormented by their deepest fears at some point, just as a reminder that it's not so much fun being on the receiving end.
Well-Behaved Hair
A very simple one. Bits of my hair are well-behaved - my ringlets. Yes, I have natural ringlets, go green with envy you pitiful fools! If I fail brush my hair several times after a shower I become Shirley Temple. I don't mind the ringlets but they take over my hair so I end up with two giant ringlets either side of my face. Also, girls like to stick their fingers in them. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I can get my hair looking lovely, nicely washed, neatly combed, bouncy and full, just like in the TV adverts... And one puff of the lightest, most inoffensive breeze, one sharp turn of the head, and it all goes nova. But until that moment, it looks great.
Now I don't actually have a problem with phobic people, but I do have a problem with the folks that like to terrorise them.
In simple terms, it's one thing to throw a rubber spider at someone just to give them a shock, most people have deliberately scared someone at some point in their life. It's running at a completely different level to try to terrify someone you know has a pathological fear.
Oh I freely admit, whenever I hear about someone with a phobia, my evil gene kicks in. I want to give them a good fright, see them freak out. The difference I see in this case between being an adult and being a juvenile is the empathy involved, even if you're tempted, you don't do it because it's the wrong thing to do to someone. You've been scared, you know how horrible it can be.
I used to have a friend who was incredibly scared of spiders. No matter the size, they absolutely terrified him. One day as we're talking, I see a little money spider waltzing across his hair.
"Dude, close your eyes for a minute."
"No... why, what are you going to do?"
"Just trust me. Close your eyes, I'll tell you when to open them."
"No, you're a bastard. What are you going to do to me."
"Yes, I am a bastard, but I'm being serious. I'll explain in a minute."
He closes his eyes, I tell him to keep still. I get the spider and take it outside, then come back and say he can open his eyes. He asked what that was all about.
"You had a money spider on you."
His legs gave way, he almost fell to the floor, and then he thanked me with so much genuine gratitude, it was heart-breaking. Part of the gratitude came from me not letting him know the spider was on him, until after it had been dealt with.
I think most people go after folks with phobias not because it's funny, but because it's an easy way to feel powerful. "Oh look, they're scared of this tiny little thing that doesn't scare me." It's always easier to feel good about yourself while laughing at the other guy who is paralysed with fear.
To the folks that do, I can only hope they'll spend a few hours tormented by their deepest fears at some point, just as a reminder that it's not so much fun being on the receiving end.
Well-Behaved Hair
A very simple one. Bits of my hair are well-behaved - my ringlets. Yes, I have natural ringlets, go green with envy you pitiful fools! If I fail brush my hair several times after a shower I become Shirley Temple. I don't mind the ringlets but they take over my hair so I end up with two giant ringlets either side of my face. Also, girls like to stick their fingers in them. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I can get my hair looking lovely, nicely washed, neatly combed, bouncy and full, just like in the TV adverts... And one puff of the lightest, most inoffensive breeze, one sharp turn of the head, and it all goes nova. But until that moment, it looks great.
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