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So, yesterday Sharon and I went to the National Gallery of Australia to see the Egyptian stuff from the Louvre. It was very cool. I wish I could have been allowed to take photos, but it was nice to see.
I wasn't having the best of days yesterday. Low brainspace, trouble walking early on, and it got worse. We got halfway through the exhibition and I had to go and rest. So we went to the cafe, paid a lot for a little, then went back. At this point Shaz voiced the idea that I'd had very early on, that it may be worth getting me one of the complimentary wheelchairs.
The mere thought brought me very close to tears.
It feels too big a jump. I've already started considering it for conventions, because if it gives me an extra couple of hours per day, then it's worth it. But it's so very far from how I see myself, and I'll be honest, I have trouble dealing with how some of my friends are reacting now. I can see how upset they get when I start to hobble along. I really don't want to deal with the looks on people's faces if they see me in a chair.
I decided to forgo the wheelchair for the Egyptian exhibition, not out of pride but out of practicality. Many of the exhibits were placed at a level where to properly view them I would need to keep standing up. Not only would I feel a goose, but standing and sitting constantly would wear me out way quicker than just maintaining my balance and staying upright.
Got through the rest of the displays, but was too far gone mentally to appreciate it. Bugger. I actually should have been in the chair right from the beginning. It would have made a difference to not have to tire myself out mentally trying to stay upright. But again, the placing of items really made it impractical.
But I wanted to visit the rest of the gallery, and was fully prepared to be in a wheelchair for that.
I hated it.
Oh I laughed and joked, but I still hated it. And then as Sharon pushed me around, I started to get annoyed. I once had a girlfriend who was in a wheelchair, and Shaz was making all the same mistakes I initially made - you push people too close to things, or place them on weird angles - all the mistakes that mean that eventually the person in the wheelchair goes from correcting you to just putting up with where they are placed because it's easier.
I decided I'd get myself around, thank you.
The chair was much lighter than the ones I had known. So pretty soon I was zipping around in much the same frenetic manner that I used to do on foot. It actually gave me more freedom than I have on the walking stick. On the stick I'm always having to look for the most efficient route between points, I need to minimise my movement to save physical and mental energy. In the chair I was able to wander back and forth the way I normally would, going back to check things, etc.
I essentially went through the same transformation I went through with my walking stick. I hated it right up until the moment that my mind saw what it really was in my hands - it wasn't an aid to walking - it was a prop! And one that I would have with me a lot of the time. So within fifteen minutes, I started seeing what I could actually do in/with the chair, while wandering around looking at some gorgeous art.
I can see all sorts of possibilities, but I'll tell you this - if I ever end up in a wheelchair for any real length of time, I won't be happy until I can balance on two wheels :)
I still utterly detest the idea, and still have to stave off depression that I spent a few hours needing to use a chair, but if that's what happens, I'll just figure out how to make the best of it.
I was, however, very happy that this morning I went jogging without problem *grin*
I wasn't having the best of days yesterday. Low brainspace, trouble walking early on, and it got worse. We got halfway through the exhibition and I had to go and rest. So we went to the cafe, paid a lot for a little, then went back. At this point Shaz voiced the idea that I'd had very early on, that it may be worth getting me one of the complimentary wheelchairs.
The mere thought brought me very close to tears.
It feels too big a jump. I've already started considering it for conventions, because if it gives me an extra couple of hours per day, then it's worth it. But it's so very far from how I see myself, and I'll be honest, I have trouble dealing with how some of my friends are reacting now. I can see how upset they get when I start to hobble along. I really don't want to deal with the looks on people's faces if they see me in a chair.
I decided to forgo the wheelchair for the Egyptian exhibition, not out of pride but out of practicality. Many of the exhibits were placed at a level where to properly view them I would need to keep standing up. Not only would I feel a goose, but standing and sitting constantly would wear me out way quicker than just maintaining my balance and staying upright.
Got through the rest of the displays, but was too far gone mentally to appreciate it. Bugger. I actually should have been in the chair right from the beginning. It would have made a difference to not have to tire myself out mentally trying to stay upright. But again, the placing of items really made it impractical.
But I wanted to visit the rest of the gallery, and was fully prepared to be in a wheelchair for that.
I hated it.
Oh I laughed and joked, but I still hated it. And then as Sharon pushed me around, I started to get annoyed. I once had a girlfriend who was in a wheelchair, and Shaz was making all the same mistakes I initially made - you push people too close to things, or place them on weird angles - all the mistakes that mean that eventually the person in the wheelchair goes from correcting you to just putting up with where they are placed because it's easier.
I decided I'd get myself around, thank you.
The chair was much lighter than the ones I had known. So pretty soon I was zipping around in much the same frenetic manner that I used to do on foot. It actually gave me more freedom than I have on the walking stick. On the stick I'm always having to look for the most efficient route between points, I need to minimise my movement to save physical and mental energy. In the chair I was able to wander back and forth the way I normally would, going back to check things, etc.
I essentially went through the same transformation I went through with my walking stick. I hated it right up until the moment that my mind saw what it really was in my hands - it wasn't an aid to walking - it was a prop! And one that I would have with me a lot of the time. So within fifteen minutes, I started seeing what I could actually do in/with the chair, while wandering around looking at some gorgeous art.
I can see all sorts of possibilities, but I'll tell you this - if I ever end up in a wheelchair for any real length of time, I won't be happy until I can balance on two wheels :)
I still utterly detest the idea, and still have to stave off depression that I spent a few hours needing to use a chair, but if that's what happens, I'll just figure out how to make the best of it.
I was, however, very happy that this morning I went jogging without problem *grin*
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From:
no subject
I got to spend a day in a wheelchair last year as part of our disability week activities, as a way to highlight just how w/c accessible my workplace actually is. I found some places that I'd previously thought were inaccessible weren't, with a little effort, but that some corners are a bitch.
But if worst comes to worst we'll get you into a Dalek that can go up stairs ;)
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
In the chair I was able to wander back and forth the way I normally would, going back to check things, etc.
Exactly my experience too. And you get less of sore neck that way, because you can position yourself comfortably.
I love the ANG.
From:
no subject
Have I mentioned that I still haven't given up on my mad idea of walking the Nullarbor? *grin*
From:
no subject
:-)
Funnily enough, I have no qualms about using the motorised scooter at the ANG (and I so wish more places had them), but I've been putting off getting one of my own for a mighty long time. Even thought it would probably help, except that I would feel so....something. So while personally I think you were crazy not to use a motorised one at the ANG, I suspect I entirely understand where you're coming from. It's really just about different comfort zones.
(Although FWIW, I had a whale of a time testing out the speeds and turning circles of those little darlings. Zippy!1!! Just like a dodgem car, only with steering!
.... and no big Maori guy on the back pushing you out of a ten car pile up.)
From:
no subject
I reckon you in a wheelchair at conventions would be rather deadly! Just think of the ready made costumes - Davros would be easy, even a dalek! And you could have all the pretty girls sit on your lap - you could even do Santa!
Sometimes it's really hard to face reality. I can't seem to get TC to admit that he had to stop playing basketball. He gets pushed around too much (takes a long time to heal), he risks an AF attack and he could have his aorta burst at any moment. He keeps saying "just till after XYZ". Relinquishing control over yourself is very very hard.
Giving into a wheelchair will seem like a step backwards in terms of recovery but there are many benefits too. You've already indicated that you had a new freedom you haven't had in a while. Think of the great parking spaces you'll be able to get. Think of the sexy arm muscles you'll develop. You'll never have to worry about getting a seat in a room..
And, hey, I want to see you do wheelies!
I think you need to go with your heart and it's a decision that only *you* can make.
From:
no subject
It's part of why I now jog.
I should have gone for the chair as soon as I got into the gallery, but I was much happier holding off, even though I didn't enjoy the exhibition as much as I would have liked. Sitting in the chair and not seeing things properly would have only frustrated me.
Nullarbor trips are one of those great joys for me, that's why I want to do one for my birthday - I'm painfully aware that if my deterioration continues, it may be the last time I can do it.
From:
no subject
Think of the numberplate possiblities! Or bumper stickers - 'I brake for Companions!' 'My other chair is a Dalek'
From:
Btw...
From:
Re: Btw...
:D
(Flees down the road at a large rate of knots)
From:
Re: Btw...
However...
A bit of Google searching has found that the Lourve exhibt will be coming to Perth in July *squees*
From:
no subject
Parkinsons is also something that won't show on an MRI or CT scan.
I know, I know a really horrid thought...
Mondy
From:
no subject
Oh, not that sort of Parkinsons.
As far as I know, no, I haven't been checked for it. Still slightly annoyed that my appointment with general physician had to be cancelled. Waiting to hear about a appointment.
From:
no subject
Mondy
From:
no subject
Oh, and I have a brand spanking new physician appointment for the first of March. Only nearly three weeks after my original appointment! Woo-bloody-hoo *grin*
From:
no subject
Dalekboy: Why horrid? I'd love to become an interviewer.
Groan! Still the line was there and I guess you had to take it...
From:
no subject
try thinking of walking stick, wheel chair etc as an aid rather than a crutch. Please!!
it would be like me saying "I don't wanna use a magnifier because that would mean reading things like a blindy."
Thes devices are here to help you and make your life more free and fulfilling. Use them for that and don't think of them as a lower status thing.
Like everyone else, I want to see you having fun with a wheelchair rather than walking and completely nakard.
also, if the thing taht was stopping you use the wheelchair was taht you wouldn't have equal access to the exhibition, then you can get up the art gallery/organisers about that, because that simply isn't good enough. If you're really kean, you can get on committees about these things.