So I was talkin' with Debbie and she says to me, "you got cracks." I was like, OMG, WTF?! So I go look in the mirror and sure enough, I got cracks and a friggin' obsidian knife sticking out of my side. I'm like, who the hell wanna stab me?

So I go to the doctor, and he tells me I'm pregnant! Fuck me! He checked me out and said it looks like I'm gunna give birth to a moon and a bunch of stars. I don't want no stars! Shit!

If anyone wants me, I'm gunna be watching Oprah.
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