In the last couple of months I've had to turn down a bit of work. Just have not been up to it. But last week I got offered a small part in a film and I couldn't say no. Today I acted in my first porno flick.

I had auditioned for Anna Brownfield from Poison Apple Productions ages back. Anna's filmography is interesting to say the least, and she mixes my interests in film, sex, breaking conventions, the Aussie film scene, etc., so I was happy just to have the chance to meet her. And she's another fan of Cafe Flesh, which sets out to insult its target audience right from the get-go, then becomes as surreal and bizarre a piece of porn that you have ever seen. It rightfully earned its place as a cult classic and is probably my favourite porn flick of all time.

As has happened to me a few times, I audition for something and if I don't get a part, they remember me and I get called back when they find themselves needing someone for another small role. Anna rang up and asked if I'd be willing to play 'the long-haired hippie' for her new film, The Band. I'd get one line. How could I say no? I warned her that if I'm having a bad day I'd be on my walking stick and she was fine with that.

So I got dropped off this morning with a small collection of hippie clothes for a 7am call. It was a great team of people, all friendly and fun-loving. The big topic was the two guys getting booted out of Big Brother, and the various reactions, which tended to range from it being a media beat-up to yes, please God, axe Big Brother, any reason will do.

Catering was great, I'm not a brekky person but after a couple of hours when I was finally able to eat, I had a yummy orange and poppy-seed muffin. Then I got made up and into costume, wearing my Albert Einstein T-Shirt and one of my dad's old 70's shirts over it. One of the main actresses was meant to be reading a book in the scene I was in, but they had forgotten to bring one along, so now she's reading Charles Stross's Singularity Sky *grin*

They were trying to find what was funniest for my character, who walks out of the audition rooms and says "That was cosmic man" in a doped out voice, before one of the leads goes in to audition. Originally I was meant to be carrying bongos, but then we found that one of the guys had brought a banjo along - much funnier! I also had a little maraca. One of the crew, I think her name was Kirsten, commented that they'd never put so much effort into an extra before, but they were loving it.

Went through, shot my bits from three angles, it was all good. Chatted to various people, turns out that Anna is keeping herself celibate for the shoot, three weeks. She was saying this for one of the crew who was recording behind the scenes stuff and said that the chakra for creativity and your reproductive organs were the same, so she hoping to improve her creativity. Plus she was hoping that it would be a more erotic film if she was feeling... She paused at a loss for words, so I offered up the term 'toey'.

Got to talk with Anna more than I expected, she rocks. I *think* she's the only woman in Australia doing porn. Hell, the Aussie porn industry is tiny anyway, so anyone doing porn in Australia is part of a select crowd. And there are so many problems shooting it here - legally, you're not allowed to film actual sex scenes in Victoria, so you have to go interstate to shoot that stuff.

Anna certainly has vision and talent, and was lovely to work with. I didn't use my walking stick for the scenes I was in, just concentrated extra hard on not falling over through the various takes. Came home totally exhausted, not helped by the two and a quarter hours it took me to get from Hoddle St, Richmond, to home. Still stuffed but happy.

Move over Ron Jeremy, there's another pudgy, hairy, unattractive man ready to take your place!

From: [identity profile] llbatt.livejournal.com


Only you could make shooting a porn flick sound like a lovely day out :)

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


It was a lovely day out! They were all such great people. It was a bit like being on a really well organised student production. With catering!

From: [identity profile] bigevilogre.livejournal.com


Congrats, man! Sounds like this could be the break you have been waiting for!
Had ya known you were going for that kind of a movie you coulda gotten some Cheech & Chong movies for reference.
Maybe even watch The Junkman and watch some old late 60s early 70s drive in movie Consession Stand commercials!

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


Nah... I just channeled my memories of 'Jim' from the series Taxi.

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


Sorry, I still don't know. People always told me they liked me, liked my mind, my humour, etc.

Three years ago was the first time in my entire life that anyone, including parents, friends, girlfriends and my wife, told me they thought I was good-looking.

Not trolling for comments, in fact it will royally piss me off if I suddenly get a bunch of 'em on this subject, just stating a fact.

Sometimes what doesn't get said has more impact than what does.

From: [identity profile] gutter-monkey.livejournal.com


You're SO getting a bunch of "something what doesn't get said" from me the next time I see you.
;)

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


You just want to get me into bed.

I'm not complaining, just stating another fact *grin*

From: [identity profile] mynxii.livejournal.com


true :) believe me i know how true.

fascination is probably one thing that brings me to blush so much around you.


From: [identity profile] mynxii.livejournal.com


LOL!

well i guess it depends on the object of said fascination :P

perhaps its better defined as sometimes another word ;)

*purrryness*

From: [identity profile] ghoath.livejournal.com


it's probably because you behave with so much confidence, people must assume someone already told you...

anyways, i am adding to the bunch of girls jumping up and down in fascination/arousal/whatever.

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


What am I supposed to say in response to that?

Except Heeellllooo ladies!
ext_208355: (Default)

From: [identity profile] king-espresso.livejournal.com


Wakkachikka wakkachikka

Maybe 2007 could put the movie into the video program. Beats reshowing episodes of Blake's Seven

From: [identity profile] gutter-monkey.livejournal.com


Ahhhhhhhhhh that's 12 flavours of awesome with a cherry on top!

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


I'm paying for it now, but I had a good day :)

If I can get my health back to a reasonable level, I hope to get work in one of the sex shops in Canberra. Either that or see what jobs are going at the Eros Foundation :)

From: [identity profile] gutter-monkey.livejournal.com


"As has happened to me a few times, I audition for something and if I don't get a part, they remember me and I get called back when they find themselves needing someone for another small role."

What part did you originally audition for?, he asked knowingly ...

"shot my bits from three angles"

They could see them around the banjo?
*impressed*

"I didn't use my walking stick for the scenes I was in"

I guess it wasn't that kind of porn film.

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


The part I went for was the mad, cross-dressing, panty sniffing drummer.

I know, type-cast again *sigh*

From: [identity profile] gutter-monkey.livejournal.com


This would have been 100% possible. If they ever do want a Dalek for a porn shoot it'd take me about 30 seconds to organise it.


From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


Actually, it wouldn't be that hard. Produce the film cheaply, let the internet buzz take it, wait for the lawyers to shut you down, and then sell copies on eBay at highly inflated prices.

But how could we hope to better Abducted by Daleks *grin*

From: [identity profile] gutter-monkey.livejournal.com


I might bake anatomically correct gingerbread men & women for the film night ...

'Cos, y'know, we ARE having a film night when this gets released. :D

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


Dude, I'm in like 10 seconds of film, literally. However, before I leave for Canberra, maybe we can have the Danny Oz film night featuring - Untitled Shoot-out, Senggol, Burly, and Dudes of Doom.

From: [identity profile] gutter-monkey.livejournal.com


Sounds like a plan ...

But there's NO WAY we're having a D Oz film night without screening The Band. :D

From: [identity profile] smofbabe.livejournal.com


I sincerely hope this will be included on the film program at an sf convention in the future!

From: [identity profile] dalekboy.livejournal.com


Because cons need more hard-core porn in their programs? 'Coz I've got Cafe Flesh, you know :)

From: [identity profile] smofbabe.livejournal.com


I think it's important that cons have the latest works of their guests available for their fans :->
.

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