Godparents

[dalekboy]

Sharon and I have been thinking about Godparents. It's kind of hard. In the old days, Godparents were to look after the religious education of the child and took over care in the event it was orphaned. While we have no need for religious education as such, picking people who would be good mentors for bub is difficult.

That's one of the problems with being in fandom, there's a lot of good people who we feel close to and who have a wide range of skills and knowledge. One of the advantages is that those people will play a part in Lex's life anyway.

We're thinking of one of Sharon's relatives as a potential to care for the child in case Sharon dies, and in the unlikely event that someone figures out how to combine the seven bottles of homebrand cola, the duck, and the piece of twine in the right combination needed to kill me. If the relo doesn't take it on, or something happens to them down the track, then it makes the choice of our other Godparents that much more important. It needs to be people we'd trust raising our kid, who we think could cope, and who we think would be actually willing to take on the burden

That's what makes it hard.

There are those who we think, no, they've got enough to cope with with their lives or their own kids. Those who would be fine dealing with a ten year old, but would really struggle with a five-year old. Those who don't watch Doctor Who... and so on. Some of these are some of the reasons there's only one of Sharon's relatives that we're considering. And while I come from a largish family, the two people I would be most happy asking to care for my kid each have partners that there's no way in hell I'd let be responsible for Lex.

So yeah, it's been an interesting process. We're still umm-ing and ahh-ing. What is interesting is the range of people and backgrounds that are being gone through. Artists, scientists, writers, programmers, athiests, Catholics, pagans, Jews, straight, gay, bi, polygamous, lit, media, SCA, furry... And while we're tending to think mainly of individuals, one of the few couples we're considering are both male.

Man this kid is gunna have a broad range of influences in their life.

Which I knew, but it's only once you start listing them you realise just how broad that influence will be. We are so lucky :)

Comments

[vegetus.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, in terms of guardianship people's situations change alot over time. Someone who would be very capable and willing to look after Lex this year might not be able to down the track.

But having an adult person around who is willing to support a child, yet isn't parent-y is very good and it sounds like your extended family will be wonderful for them. I had to find my own older person to talk to growing up and I think if a child needs to and has access to lots of different people they will find the one they are the most comfortable with (one of my childless aunts turned out to be fairly cool and she wasn't my godparent either).

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

That's what makes it such an interesting process - really thinking about the costs and benefits to all involved, and trying to allow for reasonable changes to their lives.

But that doesn't stop them spontaneously combusting in the middle of watching Swan Lake, and leaving you up in the air all over again.

And while the kid may develop a good relationship with a Godparent or guardian, they may well pick someone you'd have never thought of to be the person they turn to.