Things New Parents Should Know # 4 - Sleep

[dalekboy]

One of the secrets that parents keep from everyone else is the sheer amount of wasted time you had in your life before the baby came along. They do this so you don't feel bad. That's because most parents are nice people, or at least try to be.

I can't be bothered with that.

You non-parents! Ha! Wasting hours and hours of your life every day, and for little or no gain.

The first secret you learn on getting bub home is this - adult human beings don't really need sleep!

It's a fallacy put about by bedding companies so that we spend thousands on beds and blankets and doonas and pillows and all sorts of other useless ephemera.

The second secret you learn is that you don't need drugs, either. Lack of sleep is a natural hallucinogen. So think of all the money saved on alcohol or various illicit highs!

Anyway, must be off, I've a legion of Roman Gummi-Bears wanting to use the computer.

Comments

[drjon.livejournal.com]

By Sunday, you should start turning into a Caveman. I expect you'll start to go all glowey and crackled by next Tuesday.

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

Glowey and crackled?

[drjon.livejournal.com]

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

If I was more awake I might have realised you were talking about Altered States, especially since I only watched it about six weeks ago.

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

Good to know that your sense of humour is holding up well. :)

Hang in there!

[nuwishas-tail.livejournal.com]

its the truth!


i had a strict training schedule of 4 hours of sleep for the last 6 months in preparation. seems to work well. also, the hour nap.

make pain your friend!

[purrdence.livejournal.com]

And people wonder why I plan on taking the full 12 months of maternity leave when I have kids...

no sleep and 14 year olds make Purrdence a something something...