Things New Parents Should Know # 9 - Bandsaw

[dalekboy]

Take a bandsaw and put it in your bedroom. Set it up so it will run all on it's own from late afternoon and on through the night. It should activate at random points anywhere between one and four hours apart throughout the night, for not less than two minutes at a time. Average length of a run should be around fifteen minutes. Maximum time an hour or so.

When it's running, every second or so it will be randomly fed wood, with occasional bits of stone and metal for variety of sound.

It should be built so it has a sweet face, scrunched up in heart-breaking discomfort that you can do nothing about. Cuddling it may help it finish a run sooner, but may not.

This is your baby with colic.

Comments

[fred-mouse.livejournal.com]

things that seemed to help with colic:

- using a dummy. took several hours the first time for eldest to take it, but ze was able to cope with it much better than without
- changing the level of sensory stimuli (putting music on if too quiet, going into quiet dark room if not)
- me going off dairy
- football carry
- not feeding so frequently, despite eldest's distress. Again, dummy helped with this

I also remember my aunt sending me a pharmacists concoction of rhubarb and something or other (bicarb?) which was supposed to help, but I have no memory of whether it did or not.

And the last thing that helped (although our problems tended to late afternoon/evening, rather than late at night), was handing child off to someone who hadn't been dealing with the crying, and thus wasn't as frazzled!