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Odd Hair
"I knew a girl with long dark hair all down her back.
None on her head, it grew all down her back."
Back hair! It doesn't bother me on other people, except when they are filmed swimming underwater and the hair is long enough to move about like an anemone. But it was something I always dreaded happening to me. I always said I didn't care if I went grey, didn't care if I went bald, so long as I didn't get hair on my shoulders.
In hindsight, if hair had only sprouted on my shoulders, I would have been pleased...
I should have seen the signs... late twenties, bum getting hairier. That should have been a warning of the horrors to come. But no, it wasn't.
As I head into my last solar revolution before I turn forty I have two, dark, devil wings of hair growing on my back. Thanks to the fluffy follicles shooting up like weeds there, my shirts now all have shoulder pads. There are patches of hair on my upper arms that bald men would weep for, begging for it to be transplanted. I even have a hairy chest, something in my late twenties I never thought I'd have.
Nostrils are getting hairier. If I let them go I'm going to have eyebrows like a Jim Henson creation. My ears are getting fuzzy, with the occasional thick, wiry hair. My belly has gotten hairy enough that I get belly-button fluff now, the follicles channeling lint up into the pucker on my paunch.
I'm hoping if I get my beard big and bushy enough, you'll cease to notice the rest. As it is, if I ever do go bald, I'll be able to use my back hair as a comb-over.
Oh he's exaggerating, you say, it's not that bad.
Trust me. When every now and then, the hair on your head gets tangled with the hair on your back, it's bad!
"I knew a girl with lovely, long dark hair, but she wore gloves to cover it."
DVD Extras
I'm a film/tv buff. There are plenty of people who know more about film than I do. People like Robin Pen and Grant Watson crap on me when it comes to film knowledge. But it doesn't matter. I love films and television, I enjoy them immensely. There are few good ones, but I relish those that I consider worthwhile.
So in many cases, not all, I adore DVD extras. When I find something that strikes a chord, I go searching for more info on it. I want to know everything I can. In the old days I grabbed any magazine or book that gave me even a tiny new insight, I'd still do that but rarely have the funds. The net is a great resource, but you still have to go looking, searching about. Too much gets recycled. Someone posts up a piece of erroneous info and with weeks it's up on 57 websites blaring the falsehood as cold hard fact.
I actually watch my DVD extras. I love a good commentary. Be it one with factual information or one where the speakers are just having an absolute ball, slagging people off, bullshitting outrageously, just enjoying themselves. Some of those don't work, but when they do, they are magnificent. Peter Davison and Terrence Dicks commentary on the US edition of The Five Doctors is like that. Especially the pause where they stop to listen to the wooden delivery of the line "No. Not the mind probe," and then collapse into maniacal laughter.
Of the four commentary tracks on the US edition of Fight Club, the only one I haven't listened to is the one with the actors. But the director and special effects technicians commentaries are good, and the one featuring the original novelist and the screenwriter is brilliant. The same goes for the writer's commentary on Pirates of the Caribbean, you learn more about putting together a screenplay in that than so many books and seminars... and they have a laugh from time to time as well.
The extras on the original series of Battlestar Galactica gave me enough info to help judge the show in context. My respect for the makers of the original show is huge now. It's got its flaws but I understand them, know where many of them came from, have gained a genuine appreciation for how hard it was to get the series to level it did, and the knowledge that they actually did try to move in some interesting and brave directions, but were hamstrung by the network. I like to learn from people's failures as well as their successes. Like to wonder how they could have gotten around the problems, or find out how they did get around problems.
Behind the scenes info, special effects breakdowns, outtakes... I love it all. Yes, I may only watch the extras once in my life, but if I have the film, I'm usually going to watch it repeatedly, so why not treat myself to the extras? Why not wring every last piece of info I can out of the beast?
At worst they'll be boring, or a glorified advert for the film I already own. At best, I learn something and come away with a new appreciation of something I already liked.
"I knew a girl with long dark hair all down her back.
None on her head, it grew all down her back."
Back hair! It doesn't bother me on other people, except when they are filmed swimming underwater and the hair is long enough to move about like an anemone. But it was something I always dreaded happening to me. I always said I didn't care if I went grey, didn't care if I went bald, so long as I didn't get hair on my shoulders.
In hindsight, if hair had only sprouted on my shoulders, I would have been pleased...
I should have seen the signs... late twenties, bum getting hairier. That should have been a warning of the horrors to come. But no, it wasn't.
As I head into my last solar revolution before I turn forty I have two, dark, devil wings of hair growing on my back. Thanks to the fluffy follicles shooting up like weeds there, my shirts now all have shoulder pads. There are patches of hair on my upper arms that bald men would weep for, begging for it to be transplanted. I even have a hairy chest, something in my late twenties I never thought I'd have.
Nostrils are getting hairier. If I let them go I'm going to have eyebrows like a Jim Henson creation. My ears are getting fuzzy, with the occasional thick, wiry hair. My belly has gotten hairy enough that I get belly-button fluff now, the follicles channeling lint up into the pucker on my paunch.
I'm hoping if I get my beard big and bushy enough, you'll cease to notice the rest. As it is, if I ever do go bald, I'll be able to use my back hair as a comb-over.
Oh he's exaggerating, you say, it's not that bad.
Trust me. When every now and then, the hair on your head gets tangled with the hair on your back, it's bad!
"I knew a girl with lovely, long dark hair, but she wore gloves to cover it."
DVD Extras
I'm a film/tv buff. There are plenty of people who know more about film than I do. People like Robin Pen and Grant Watson crap on me when it comes to film knowledge. But it doesn't matter. I love films and television, I enjoy them immensely. There are few good ones, but I relish those that I consider worthwhile.
So in many cases, not all, I adore DVD extras. When I find something that strikes a chord, I go searching for more info on it. I want to know everything I can. In the old days I grabbed any magazine or book that gave me even a tiny new insight, I'd still do that but rarely have the funds. The net is a great resource, but you still have to go looking, searching about. Too much gets recycled. Someone posts up a piece of erroneous info and with weeks it's up on 57 websites blaring the falsehood as cold hard fact.
I actually watch my DVD extras. I love a good commentary. Be it one with factual information or one where the speakers are just having an absolute ball, slagging people off, bullshitting outrageously, just enjoying themselves. Some of those don't work, but when they do, they are magnificent. Peter Davison and Terrence Dicks commentary on the US edition of The Five Doctors is like that. Especially the pause where they stop to listen to the wooden delivery of the line "No. Not the mind probe," and then collapse into maniacal laughter.
Of the four commentary tracks on the US edition of Fight Club, the only one I haven't listened to is the one with the actors. But the director and special effects technicians commentaries are good, and the one featuring the original novelist and the screenwriter is brilliant. The same goes for the writer's commentary on Pirates of the Caribbean, you learn more about putting together a screenplay in that than so many books and seminars... and they have a laugh from time to time as well.
The extras on the original series of Battlestar Galactica gave me enough info to help judge the show in context. My respect for the makers of the original show is huge now. It's got its flaws but I understand them, know where many of them came from, have gained a genuine appreciation for how hard it was to get the series to level it did, and the knowledge that they actually did try to move in some interesting and brave directions, but were hamstrung by the network. I like to learn from people's failures as well as their successes. Like to wonder how they could have gotten around the problems, or find out how they did get around problems.
Behind the scenes info, special effects breakdowns, outtakes... I love it all. Yes, I may only watch the extras once in my life, but if I have the film, I'm usually going to watch it repeatedly, so why not treat myself to the extras? Why not wring every last piece of info I can out of the beast?
At worst they'll be boring, or a glorified advert for the film I already own. At best, I learn something and come away with a new appreciation of something I already liked.
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I've also checked out the commentary from Tim Burton just towards the end of Planet of the Apes, where he foams and defends it without saying much of interest.
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Interactive Menu
Scene Access
Widescreen format
Subtitles in (pick obscure language of choice)
Trailer
When will the distributors learn that none of the above count as bloody extras?!?!?!
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DVD Extras
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