Dalekboy

This post has been brewing for a couple of years. It's not about any one of the many causes worth fighting for, it's not about or aimed at any one person, it hasn't been spurred on by any one event.

Abuse and accusations are not how you win people over to your way of thinking. Keeping your allies on the back-foot because you think they should know better does not help teach them how to better understand or present your side of an argument. ( Read more... )

I have now seen it. I thought it was a good film, with an interesting concept/conceit - until the last ten minutes when it breaks the Monty Python rule.

There's a rule of comedy that I heard many years ago, attributed to the boys from Monty Python - If you have four men standing in dustbins talking, you don't need to explain it. The audience will accept it. But if someone then walks on in a business suit, you need an some sort of explanation. - It's a rule I think works equally well for any bit of writing.

( Rant on Knowing that will contain massive spoilers for the end of the movie - Oh, and there's a fair bit of swearing - you have been warned... )

Had to pop by the shops today and while I was there I bought two tins of canned soup to drop in the big bushfire relief box at the front of my local Supabarn. Made sure I picked ones that opened with ringpulls, because I'm not sure there will be an excess of can openers available. It was only $4 to do, we can afford that, and it's two small quick simple meals.

On the next shopping run, we're buying nappies and baby food to send down. It's a little more costly, but hey, we haven't lost everything, we can afford it.

Also going to be going through Lex's old clothes, and some of his toys, and sending some of those down. And I'm thinking of talking to my accountant about whether a business running at the low level mine runs at, can afford to send a bunch of toys down. Yes there are more important things that people need, but when everything is gone, it's nice if your child at least has a toy to play with.

I'm also moving forward my plan to sort through my clothes. The good ones can be sent down.

Main reason I'm writing this is to get people thinking about what they can do.

But the best thing I'd seen yet on the bushfires comes from Chris Lawson.

I got an infringement notice for downloading Stargate: Atlantis! MGM doesn't want people downloading their stuff, which when Channel 7 doesn't want to show it, is basically the equivalent of MGM not wanting people to watch their stuff.

Here is my reply to them ( Read more... )

These days I'm lucky if I get to skim LJ, and so may have missed other people who have the same concern I do. I think many of my friends want Obama to win, for all sorts of good reasons. Things are looking good, with many big Republicans even publically supporting him.

But while everyone seems to be hoping for an Obama victory, I have yet to hear anyone express the niggling fear I've had since day one - the bastards stole one election and got clean away with it, who is to say they won't do it again?

Sharon and I have been thinking about Godparents. It's kind of hard. In the old days, Godparents were to look after the religious education of the child and took over care in the event it was orphaned. While we have no need for religious education as such, picking people who would be good mentors for bub is difficult.

That's one of the problems with being in fandom, there's a lot of good people who we feel close to and who have a wide range of skills and knowledge. One of the advantages is that those people will play a part in Lex's life anyway.( Read more... )

On a completely different note, am I the only one who finds Facebook applications like Own Your Friends/Buy Your Friends, kind of skin crawlingly offensive?

I'm not for sale, I am not owned. What there is of me, my friendship, love, and affection, is given freely, as it should be.

This post has ended up as a kind of an informal sequel to this 100 Days post. No need to read it, just mentioning it for those who are interested.
-----------------------------------------------------------

While I was in Melbourne, a comment from a friend of mine woke me to a whole attitude towards nudity and sex that I wasn't consciously aware I carried. The young lady in question is one of those folks that fits into two smallish camps - people I'd like to have sex with, and people who I'd like to photograph naked.

Now the two don't necessarily go together. And before I go into the personal revelation, I want to have a go at explaining the difference. ( One of those long, rambly, introspective posts. Possibly NSFW, hard to say... )

Some people seem to think that the only reason someone would want to encourage new people into fandom is because it will create bigger conventions, be good for fandom, etc. These things may happen, but they are only side effects of welcoming in more people. I could do a big diatribe on growth versus stagnation. I could talk about how it's really easy to say we have enough people coming to cons when you're one of the folks who already attend and you know you're welcome, but it's not relevant to why I want to see more newbies in fandom.

I want to see more new fans for their sake, not ours.

Maybe it's because I've been doing 'so it's your first con' panels for over a decade, but I've seen a hell of a lot of people at those panels who turned up knowing no-one, not a single person at the con. Some of them stick around, but many do not, and not all of those that leave can be fobbed off with the oh-so-easy 'it just wasn't for them' comment.

The whole 'most people are drawn into fandom with their friends' argument is a really easy one to make when you're surrounded by your mates, or that is indeed how you found fandom. I've talked to people who spent an hour or more outside a club or convention, absolutely terrified about going in because this was it! This was where they finally hoped to fit in, be welcomed, find people like themselves. They stayed outside because they were scared that they'd find that they wouldn't even fit in here, and if they didn't fit in here, that's it, they really were the loser, freak, and weirdo that their family and the people at school or work thought they were.

I had a cold start, knowing nobody, and it was absolutely terrifying. I spent a fair while outside Space Age Books before going in. And my very first experience of another fan was the gruff guy at the front counter being, well, gruff with me. Not unfriendly, not nasty, but my self esteme was low, and I was shy and nervous enough that I nearly left then and there. I already felt like an outsider who was at best to be tolerated. It was touch and go, and rather than walk up the stairs at the back of the shop to go to the Melbourne Science Fiction Club, I nearly ran out the front door.

If I had I would have missed out on a range of friends and experiences. Would never have done song-vids, run conventions, written fiction, gotten into 3D animation, had the friends and lovers that have enriched my life. I wouldn't have met Sharon.

So why wouldn't I, in all good conscience, want to give other people the same chances I've had?

How many people have been lost from clubs and cons over the years? Where their first experience was their last? It's not just people we lose when this happens. I want to see more new fans for our sake as well.

Every person who never attends or returns represents the loss of potential friends, lovers, con-runners, writers, editors, artists, directors... For all the good or bad they may have done our lives, the community, or the genre, they may as well have never existed.

There will always be people who are lost to us. Some people are too sensitive or scared, some bad experiences are unavoidable, and we can't be held accountable for every lost fan. I don't talk to every new person at a con, and I sure as hell don't expect others to. But the less we do to encourage these people, to try to find ways to make things that little bit more welcoming for them, and the more we sit on our collective arses saying, "they'll find us when they're ready," or "someone would bring them in anyway," the poorer our community becomes.

If you don't believe that, then think on this - If I had chosen the door instead of the stairs...

No Mitch, and no Mitch? collections.

No Pancakes at Carillion.

No Continuum conventions.