The Worst Thing You've Ever Done

[dalekboy]

This piece is not about any one person specifically, it's about the way people are demonised in general.

I want you to think about the worst thing you've ever done. Something, no matter how long ago you did it, that you're still ashamed of. Don't shy away from it, think hard about the nastiest, shittiest, lowest thing you've ever done to someone.

Now, I want you to imagine people in general, and the internet as a vague group, deciding that's the person you really are.

Think about how they would react, how they would treat you, attack you, the things they would write about you - for a single act. It doesn't matter if it was a mistake, deliberate, or if there were extenuating circumstances - they don't care. There's little to no forgiveness out there, almost every time folks talk about you, it will be in relation to whatever it was you did.

How would that make you feel, as the weeks became months and years, and people still brought it up? How would you feel about the fact that no matter what else you did, there would always be someone there ready to bring up that single bad decision and start the whole thing up again? That every other positive act in your entire life would be deemed unimportant or irrelevant compared to this single event.

I'm not saying there should be universal forgiveness. Some people repeatedly do horrid things to others. I'm not saying there shouldn't be a price to pay for a single error, sometimes we have to make amends. But if the only issue you can find with a person is one really bad thing they've done, then doesn't that suggest there may be more to them than that one act?

Remember this the next time the crowd starts baying for someone's blood over a single mistake, especially if you're part of that crowd. Other people are as complex and have as many layers as you do.

You, and I, are not just the worst thing we ever did.

And neither is anyone else.

Comments

[paulhaines.livejournal.com]

You know that old joke, don't you? Where the guy does all these good things in his life, but is always remembered for the dalliance with the sheep? Or whatever other punchline has been inserted.

And though we know and wish that is not the way we thought and behaved (ie the worst thing we ever did), it is human nature.

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

I nearly included that joke - "But you fuck one goat..."

I'm just over the mindless herd hate response. Hatred is not justice. Because when you stop to think about it, you just know that of the people loudly screaming about how evil someone is, a portion of them have done stuff at least as bad. They just haven't been found out.

And some are so wrapped up in themselves they've done horrible similarly horrible shit, and never even realised.

[narrelle.livejournal.com]

Sometimes the second worst thing we ever did is to not take responsibility for the worst thing and to try to make amends or at least do better next time. We're not the best thing we ever did, either. Perhaps we are the sum of the consistent attempts to be and do better than we have in the past.

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

I almost included a line about we're the sum of our parts, we're not the sum of a single part.

I try to be a good person, because that's who I wish to be. Sometimes I succeed spectacularly, sometimes I fail dramatically. Sometimes I will do something unintentionally shitty with nothing but the best of intentions, sometimes I will do something mean very deliberately because I can see the eventual benefit.

I am human, I will be amazingly kind, and horribly cruel, and the person I am exists inside all my actions, not just a single one.

[kaelajael.livejournal.com]

I <3 you! You've managed to articulate what I have only felt.

And some are so wrapped up in themselves they've done horrible similarly horrible shit, and never even realised.

Well said!

[paulhaines.livejournal.com]

If someone else can burn for your sins... it's the cornerstone to modern religion.

[sjl.livejournal.com]

You have to wonder how many of them are screaming because they're secretly afraid that it might have been them - because they've done as bad, or worse, at some point, or fear that they might one day.

I know that I live with a fear like that myself ... but I try my damnedest to not project it onto others. I don't know how well I succeed.