Public Service Announcement

[dalekboy]

"From the makers of the The Official Fan Clue Bat(TM) comes their new line in fannish soap - Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM)

Do you have problems with Smelly Malodourous Offensive Fen, or as we like to call them, SMOFs? Well, get rid of SMOFs today with, Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM)

This handy soap is 95% guaranteed to remove those lingering odours... Video Lounge Junkie, No Room So No Shower, and of course, 3-Day Gamer.

If Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM) doesn't deal with your SMOF problem, either because they smell so bad, or because they won't use the soap, simply place the soap in a sock and beat them with it until they leave!

Or for an small extra price, you can purchase The Official Fan Clue Bat(TM). Simply pummel your SMOFs with this stylish Real Pine Bat until they either realise they should wash, or they leave. You need never touch them again!

Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM), available at caring Conventions everywhere!"



Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM) and The Official Fan Clue Bat (TM) are both subsidiary companies of Fuck-Off Fanboy Inc.

Comments

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

I don't know about sourcing an Official Fan Clue Bat but you could always try the following:

a) Visit hardware store
b) Acquire suitable length of two by four wood, adjusting as appropriate for height, arm length/strength etc.
c) Carve one end into a convenient, ergonomic handle.
d) Label with "Fan Clue Bat" in suitably large letters
e) Varnish to protect finish.

Voila! Your very own Clue By Four. :)

I of course lack the skills required for c) - d) but you're probably good to go...

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

Okay, dude, you're infringing copyright, right there in front on me!

Stop it!

...sssstopppp iiitttt!

Grabs bat to give you a clue...

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

Well of course I'm doing it in front of you.

Wouldn't be any fun otherwise. :)

But since you asked so nicely I'll stop now. :D