Public Service Announcement

[dalekboy]

"From the makers of the The Official Fan Clue Bat(TM) comes their new line in fannish soap - Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM)

Do you have problems with Smelly Malodourous Offensive Fen, or as we like to call them, SMOFs? Well, get rid of SMOFs today with, Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM)

This handy soap is 95% guaranteed to remove those lingering odours... Video Lounge Junkie, No Room So No Shower, and of course, 3-Day Gamer.

If Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM) doesn't deal with your SMOF problem, either because they smell so bad, or because they won't use the soap, simply place the soap in a sock and beat them with it until they leave!

Or for an small extra price, you can purchase The Official Fan Clue Bat(TM). Simply pummel your SMOFs with this stylish Real Pine Bat until they either realise they should wash, or they leave. You need never touch them again!

Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM), available at caring Conventions everywhere!"



Wash You Smelly Bastard!(TM) and The Official Fan Clue Bat (TM) are both subsidiary companies of Fuck-Off Fanboy Inc.

Comments

[purrdence.livejournal.com]

*sniggers* what are you on and where can I get some?

[lilysea.livejournal.com]

Fabulous!

I want a Official Fan Clue Bat(TM), so that I have more of a clue... *grin*

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

I don't know about sourcing an Official Fan Clue Bat but you could always try the following:

a) Visit hardware store
b) Acquire suitable length of two by four wood, adjusting as appropriate for height, arm length/strength etc.
c) Carve one end into a convenient, ergonomic handle.
d) Label with "Fan Clue Bat" in suitably large letters
e) Varnish to protect finish.

Voila! Your very own Clue By Four. :)

I of course lack the skills required for c) - d) but you're probably good to go...

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

Okay, dude, you're infringing copyright, right there in front on me!

Stop it!

...sssstopppp iiitttt!

Grabs bat to give you a clue...

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

Well of course I'm doing it in front of you.

Wouldn't be any fun otherwise. :)

But since you asked so nicely I'll stop now. :D

[possbert.livejournal.com]

As wielded by the Narn Bat Squad of days of yore?

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

OK, there have been two references to the Narn Bat Squad now.

Dare I ask for background? Or am I better not knowing?

[possbert.livejournal.com]

All is revealed here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narn_Bat_Squad

[mortonhall.livejournal.com]

lol

priceless

[mikeybidness.livejournal.com]

I'll take fifteen crates. It won't cover half the people I'd like to give it to, but it's a start.

[lie-xin.livejournal.com]

You're on my wave-length of humour, dude ;)

[dalekboy.livejournal.com]

Yup! That's why I so enjoyed meeting you properly.

'Hey, she's nasty... Me like!'

[rendragon.livejournal.com]

ROFL

me want! me want!

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

Oh thats just beautiful!

[rdmasters.livejournal.com]

Deeply inspired.

Sadly, deep-breathing inspired, no doubt.

(BTW, I represent an establishment that have a good line in a wide variety of LARTS that can be easily re-branded to similar purpose. The Clue-b4(tm) and the fine personal weapons of the Narn Bat Squad were sourced from our warehouses, and an army of monks from the scary devil monastery have used our services. I'm sure that our Distribution Option Order for Merchandise (DOOM) can bring your product down upon the heads of those who desperately need it.)

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

Chuckle. I'd heard of but didn't immediately recognise "LARTS".

Googling shows it to stand for L* Attitude Readjustment ToolS, with several values of L: Luser, Loser, Large, Linux, possibly others.

I believe the first is sourced from the Bastard Operator from Hell and is generally pronounced with a silent L, as in "what was your (l)user ID?". :)

[tikiwanderer.livejournal.com]

Ah, it's been a long time since I read any BOFH...

[arcadiagt5.livejournal.com]

Ditto, check my LJ for an expansion on the theme: the BBAFH.

:)

[rdmasters.livejournal.com]

They have an extensive series over at http://www.theregister.co.uk , where Simon (the BOFH) has a regular feature.

And some of the best (and funniest) tech reporting on the planet!

Cleanafan

[thinarthur.livejournal.com]

I always wanted to put on the Mystery Science Theatre hygiene short as part of a con opener to subtly remind people but never had a chance to do so. My worst experience was at a Vahalla 24 hr Sci-Fi movie marathon with a certain well known fan, and my wife once got a train to Seaford and said she could smell the same person at the other end of the carriage.

[thinarthur.livejournal.com]

Also, to return to the animated Who topic, have you seen the TV21 Dalek animations some UK fans did? I haven't been able to find them myself but was told they were pretty nifty